Love: Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive,... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 14:12 - United States

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 8 544

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Same thing different taste

Not cut out for this

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 807

You deserved it 1 412

By goodbye - 09/03/2009 00:45 - Canada

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 176

You deserved it 34 571

Know this of me…

By thefmlman2011 - 02/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 243

Let down

By colts609380 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 247

By Anonymous - 23/03/2012 23:51 - United States - Meredith

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 848

You deserved it 32 952

By hoppgrasser - 12/11/2016 15:17 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 906

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 601

You deserved it 4 877

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 4 571

By steven - 24/06/2009 15:33 - Canada

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 990

You deserved it 112 558

By Mark - 13/08/2009 22:30 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 8 795

Next

Top comments

lol0wnee 5

Tuesday 30 August 2011 18:57

STEP UR GAME UP.

HannahLouise96 13

Tuesday 30 August 2011 18:58

Just go for it!

Comments

EGORAPTOR 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:49

What's a pub? Is that a kind of bar?

Dramori 29

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:05

Pub = public house ie chilled out drinking establishment typically with booths, tables and chairs.

Blueocean7 19

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:00

I'm the opposite! Very comfortable talking w girls, but scared shit of base jumping and skydiving. Lol. To each their own I suppose.

Friaza 29

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:28

After her shift finishes offer her a drink, then another, and another untill she gets drunk, then ask her :D

triggeaj 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:34

I know exactly what you mean dude. Just got my A license :)

Harpy20 24

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:59

Protip: You do that shit because you're an idiot, not because you have balls. So maybe you should grow a pair and ask her out, pussy.

tylenol123 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:16

Then maybe you should rethink your "big balls" standards

sufikoraine 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:25

71, way to make it not funny... we got the joke...

boarderdude119 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 1:00

I couldn't agree more dude, I'm a skydiver myself! But hey, at least skydiving will never, ever break your heart :) although it can break everything else!

queenb1621 21

Wednesday 31 August 2011 1:31

That sucks

HeartAndSoul2011 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 2:21

Don't worry about it. That's normal ;) (and I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just being honest.)

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, my girlfriend asked how I was feeling, because I’ve been feeling down and experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I said was feeling a lot better and that I finally think I’m on my way to getting well. She didn't agree, and started a fight about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 205

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 562

You deserved it 19 477

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 109

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 169

Today, my best friend got engaged. To get his girlfriend to say yes, he had to agree to dump me as a friend because she doesn't want him being best friends with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 739

You deserved it 1 598

Today, I found out my boyfriend was going to propose. He'd bought me a beautiful white gold ring that I never got to see. His estranged mom stole the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 441

You deserved it 114