Health: Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned...

By sisi9999 - 25/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 994

You deserved it 3 592

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Same thing different taste

By freakfreak12345 - 19/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 640

You deserved it 74 796

By frankkathy - 26/07/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 408

You deserved it 19 389

Man vs. Wild

By Marjo86 - 27/09/2019 20:00

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 128

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 985

You deserved it 11 162

By someone euthanize me - 16/01/2016 08:17

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 8 044

By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 20:08 - United States - Hobart

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 1 900

By Tyler - 03/08/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 056

You deserved it 3 269

Kinda abusive, you know?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 98

MoonDreamer30 0

Monday 25 July 2011 12:00

I think I would have done the same if I had a pool close to me! So good to know! ;)

MtnDew32 0

Monday 25 July 2011 12:11

godamn spawn campers

Comments

j_cat187 19

Monday 25 July 2011 23:08

get a flamethrower I ******* hate wasps

Brandonorzame 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:27

you should have used surf do get through the water

Fail_05 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:30

Fail(x

destineemercedes 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:32

hahaha i would gavetta but domano is presto!

decidedlyvague 11

Thursday 28 July 2011 23:29

the **** does that mean?

jubaevang 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 2:29

hahahahhaa...

wat_a_life0701 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 3:11

The idea of running to the house instead of the pool is good..but what if some got in when you opened your door??

dcwttaoo1 13

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:09

Best way to kill hornets: call the city or a professional.

RebekahBrooke 9

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:57

slightly stupid of you, but instincts do kick in. so fyl and ydi. but seriously? blame your mom. the hornets seem a bit more intelligent.

Saturated5 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 6:27

yikes OP if u had splashed em...

cyphi1 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 6:49

If you would've watched Spike TV more often you would've known.

sskarma23 9

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:38

yeah I remember the manswers episode which included the same situation as the op was in

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 7 792

Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 2 751

Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 195

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 528

You deserved it 16 762

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 83

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 153

You deserved it 42 115

Same thing different taste

Man vs. Wild

Invasion

Kinda abusive, you know?

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