Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like...

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 3 759

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Same thing different taste

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 3 035

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

Lovely parents

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 333

You deserved it 200

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 104

By Anon - 29/09/2015 03:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 9 048

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 728

You deserved it 5 789

FOMO

By Brian - 18/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 164

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 696

You deserved it 4 077

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 3 047

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 765

SyraSid5 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:08

use his toothbrush instead, he's probably to drunk to even notice, and then tell him when he is sober!

emopinback 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:07

i wish i had a father but now i dont want one

Comments

sloop_fml 0

Monday 21 June 2010 4:20

yesssssss

hcar 0

Monday 21 June 2010 5:23

Wouldent you know that was alrwady the defenition of fathers day in your family? You're probably atleast 12 if you're submitting FMLs.

madmister1995 0

Monday 21 June 2010 5:42

umm that sucks...I would just say **** off

TANKER14 0

Monday 21 June 2010 7:14

fake

wachick 0

Monday 21 June 2010 8:23

Redneck families at their best...

MadiJane 0

Monday 21 June 2010 8:24

lol FYL that's hilarious

wachick 0

Monday 21 June 2010 8:24

Redneck families at their best...

Jonkbaby 22

Monday 21 June 2010 8:45

lol crazy

TheOptimist 0

Monday 21 June 2010 10:13

Look at the bright side, you now have an excuse to get a new toothbrush!

suzzette_fml 0

Monday 21 June 2010 14:30

this'd be a long day

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 702

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

The Top

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 648

You deserved it 2 458

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 352

You deserved it 6 850

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 150

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 076

You deserved it 15 544

Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 206

You deserved it 5 975

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. I went to pull the cord to request a stop when the driver slammed on the breaks to avoid running a red light, causing me to get thrown out of my seat and slide down the aisle and hit my head on a pole by the front of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 225