Kids: Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned... - FML

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 060

You deserved it 2 345

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Same thing different taste

By Amithatevil - 29/08/2014 12:35 - Japan - Kawasaki

Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 771

You deserved it 4 203

Damien

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 10:00

Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 203

You deserved it 18 846

Weird kid

By maria lucia - 05/04/2021 21:30

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 204

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 3 264

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 371

You deserved it 4 979

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 4 173

By Ban Hammered - 25/05/2016 10:35 - United States - New York

Today, I babysat my neighbor's twin 4-year-old girls again. When I took them out for lunch, they apparently had been addressing themselves as "my bitches", taught to them by their devil spawn 13-year-old brother. Everyone, including Chuck E. Cheese himself, was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 421

You deserved it 870

Don't worry!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 947

You deserved it 542

The Omen

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 01:55 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 944

You deserved it 2 014

Next

Top comments

v4valour 15

Tuesday 7 June 2016 17:40

All you have to do is replace "Satan" with "Hydra" and Boom! A new Captain America is born

Welshite 39

Tuesday 7 June 2016 17:47

Aww she makes such a cute little demon. Keep an eye out for goat heads and pentagrams.

Comments

brenton490 19

Tuesday 7 June 2016 23:09

still a better story then Paranormal Activity.

xGoldColossus 7

Tuesday 7 June 2016 23:17

There are much worse things a child could learn. That's not really that bad it's not like he's likely to grow up worshipping Satan lol personally I find it hilarious.

mattyiscool123 26

Tuesday 7 June 2016 23:30

Change satan to satin

ExterminatorRex 4

Wednesday 8 June 2016 0:16

Not a bad combination lmao xD

texaskitty86 25

Wednesday 8 June 2016 0:30

If it makes you feel any better, I had a friend who taught a second friends young son to call anyone wearing a red shirt a Commie. No I don't know why, she just thought it was funny, and it was actually pretty amusing at first!

noreallywhat 17

Wednesday 8 June 2016 0:58

The is the best thing I have ever heard in my life. Seriously give that boy a cookie.

Coolio8567 5

Wednesday 8 June 2016 1:21

Well, the kid has to believe in something right?

Taemyks 5

Wednesday 8 June 2016 1:59

Our 5 year old has been throwing up a metal fist and yelling Hail Satan from about 2. It's cure as hell, and he's starting to get a decent metal voice.

GAeroNKissR 26

Wednesday 8 June 2016 3:19

better Satan than Hitler

Bragi 12

Wednesday 8 June 2016 4:06

Brothers FTW. You shouldhear what I taught my highschool girlfriend's little sister.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

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I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 666

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I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 3 964

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I agree, your life sucks 40 400

You deserved it 4 698

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 344

You deserved it 2 074

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 166

You deserved it 3 550

Today, my fiancée told me I'm not her type, and that my touch is repulsive. We've been living together for over a year, and have been together for over four. FML

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You deserved it 172