Kids: Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth...

By Nick - 29/06/2012 21:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 279

You deserved it 6 727

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 386

You deserved it 53 424

Competition

By JaneDoe - 04/04/2013 02:51 - United States - Salisbury

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 756

You deserved it 2 788

The cake from hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 18:00

Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 202

Here, have this

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 873

You deserved it 4 909

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 4 517

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 204

Happy intoxication day

By rubber_duckie177 - 24/09/2009 11:25 - United States

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 160

You deserved it 4 033

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 594

You deserved it 4 112

By Devotedmom - 10/01/2016 09:07 - Belgium - Li?ge

Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 058

You deserved it 3 120

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 211

You deserved it 5 713

lakerfan8224 17

Saturday 30 June 2012 2:38

That's going in your son's suppressed memory

Skittles_Rawr 8

Saturday 30 June 2012 2:45

You raised her... Don't blame your balls.

Comments

fordman22 0

Saturday 30 June 2012 12:11

Maybe she was just trying to signify that she needed a penis to satisfy her

dyslexic_jd 10

Saturday 30 June 2012 12:20

Blame the dad. Mine does

ChickenTenders 6

Saturday 30 June 2012 13:13

Is her name Rainbow Randolph?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Saturday 30 June 2012 13:42

That's mean to call her a moron. Well, it sort of isn't if she's old enough to know better. Cut her some slack. And cut off the distinguishing parts of the cake.

merryhappy1887 20

Saturday 30 June 2012 13:47

Your fault for half ass parenting.

the_true_batman 10

Saturday 30 June 2012 16:07

To everyone who says he shouldn't call her a moron because she's the way he raised her: Maybe his parents raised him to raise her that way and call her a moron, so you can't blame him for being the way he was raised.

makenzie1322 0

Saturday 30 June 2012 17:19

Oh my goodness, he will remember that cake for ever! And it wont be a lovely memory!

lastrael 3

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:19

Seriously? If you call your daughter that enough, she's eventually going to believe that she is one. If you wanted the cake a certain way, you should offered to help out.

the_true_batman 10

Saturday 30 June 2012 21:19

"If you wanted the cake a certain way, you should offered to help out." OP wasn't picky about the cake, it's not like it had a race car and he wanted dinosaurs. I'm sure OP would be happy so long as the cake was appropriate and edible. And it sounds like the daughter wanted to make the cake herself. I don't think wanting the cake to be appropriate is so picky that you should have done it yourself. "Hey mom, can I make a cake for Tommy's birthday?" "Okay, thanks for helping." "Here is Tommy's swastika cake." "You're a moron, that's not appropriate for a 5 year old's birthday, Daniel Gold's parents will throw a fit when they see it!" "You shouldn't call your daughter a moron, and if you wanted the cake a certain way you should have offered to help."