Love: Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 7 375

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Same thing different taste

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 066

You deserved it 6 145

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 15 397

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 284

You deserved it 2 911

By fmldr - 03/12/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 842

You deserved it 2 786

By anonymous - 17/07/2012 04:54 - Canada - Boucherville

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 802

You deserved it 2 178

Freudian

By billjoebob424 - 10/03/2016 00:01 - Canada

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 410

You deserved it 7 460

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit - 12/10/2013 20:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 467

You deserved it 14 980

randomchickkk 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 1:40

you lock lips with your family?

DudeBTM 8

Saturday 4 June 2011 1:41

So you "locked lips" with family before?

Comments

Aznboifreakster 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 3:56

u actully kissed your family wow

just_a_dude_ 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 3:59

Well I hope you at least passed. Why don't ya ask someone out for a change?

Volvex 2

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:05

I fail to see what's bugging you.

TalkinSmack 6

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:10

Ur not supposed to violate the Annie doll! lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:27

Family? Take into consideration where you're from, pimp.

AmberGale13 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:42

you locked lips with ur family? ewwww. that's incest ya know?

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:46

Those things can teach you to save lives!

guti6912 1

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:10

thats ****** up

BigEyedOwl 1

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:35

was his lips dry?

allaturca 12

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:36

Maybe you locking lips with your family is what's stopping other girls from locking lips with you?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Am I overreacting? Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 409

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 168

You deserved it 545

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 540

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 006

You deserved it 9 604

Today, I realized the only things I do are work and sleep. My only friends are coworkers who I make small talk with. I live alone so I’ve got nothing there either. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, or spoke to someone. Everyday is just a blur. I have no hobbies, no goals. Getting older is so fun, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 272

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 453

You deserved it 3 341

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 47 983

You deserved it 5 634

Same thing different taste

Freudian

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