Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished...

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 915

You deserved it 12 117

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 362

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 4 135

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 418

You deserved it 3 890

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 844

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 133

You deserved it 11 758

By Emily - 21/08/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 42 662

By Username - 03/01/2011 11:40

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 874

You deserved it 10 700

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 982

You deserved it 3 073

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 400

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 157

You deserved it 5 928

hombrepollo 0

Friday 22 July 2011 16:08

ur still a virgin

Glitterhinoceros 14

Friday 22 July 2011 16:09

Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.

Comments

Richierich4688 5

Friday 22 July 2011 20:44

Well you can kiss those dreams goodbye or better yet just wave so you don't cream yourself again!

Richierich4688 5

Friday 22 July 2011 20:49

Well you can kiss those dreams goodbye or better yet just wave so you don't cream yourself

xoxonene 0

Friday 22 July 2011 20:50

if you didn't enter, you're still a virgin. gotta actually have sex for it to count. that sucks.

manbearpig7173 0

Friday 22 July 2011 20:53

Well you can't finish what you never started...

KaskStunter 4

Friday 22 July 2011 20:55

Well, you could finish again. And again. And again. And again.

perdix 29

Friday 22 July 2011 21:00

Blah, blah, blah, everybody's bad the very first time. The burning question here is: Will she give you a mulligan?

blondebunny 0

Friday 22 July 2011 21:07

aww. honestly there are not enough innocent guys like that these days. don't be embarrassed. I think it's refreshing.

SwiftKick2DA 0

Friday 22 July 2011 21:11

V card still excepted bro... nut up

blackprince2012 9

Friday 22 July 2011 21:11

y r u a virgin at 28

ShekaDoll 4

Friday 22 July 2011 21:17

noooooo!!!!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 2 811

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 964

You deserved it 12 703

Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 811

You deserved it 148

Today, at work, a customer ordered a caramel latte with no caramel. I made a regular latte after explaining that’s what it was. He got angry and threw it at me. I got fired for insulting his intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 972

You deserved it 301

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 3 552

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 156

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments