Health: Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald...

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 064

You deserved it 7 158

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 5 898

By agnosticstudy - 28/01/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 940

You deserved it 27 741

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

Hangry time

By ohforcheese - 19/01/2012 20:19 - United States

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 636

You deserved it 8 558

Sounds delicious

By Bible John - 11/11/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 335

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 966

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 3 360

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 460

You deserved it 85 819

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 200

By freakingow - 14/02/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 6 861

SnazzyPotter 17

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:15

At least you didn't burn your right boob

guineagirl 18

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:04

always wait at least 30 seconds

Comments

Cemetery87 10

Sunday 2 March 2014 10:20

you have to lower the power setting on the microwave and cook it for longer.

BigMac92 11

Sunday 2 March 2014 23:59

HOOOOT POCKETS!

chrisslime 7

Monday 3 March 2014 4:52

Hoooot pockets- Jim Gaffigan 2012

blackonblight 32

Monday 3 March 2014 10:47

This tells me you didn't follow the directions. Had you done so, the cheese might still have scalded you if you couldn't wait for it to cool, but it would have been properly cooked.

fourmoons 6

Monday 3 March 2014 15:58

Idk how you cooked it, but you could have cooked it wrong. Maybe you cooked it at too high of a temperature. Or if you used a microwave, you probably didn't cook it long enough.