Work: Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious...

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 10:26 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 932

You deserved it 5 287

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Same thing different taste

By BlueMacaw - 25/07/2016 14:38 - United States - Edmond

Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 669

You deserved it 2 164

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 187

By sonofawackjob - 18/08/2017 17:15 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 626

You deserved it 263

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 331

You deserved it 6 595

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 9 663

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 12:04 - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 212

You deserved it 6 903

By 911 - 13/11/2008 03:57 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 241

You deserved it 2 337

Covidiots

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 19:08 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 183

You deserved it 17 632

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 679

Xarin 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:18

Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh

perfectwinds 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:15

Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.

Comments

Phlecks 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:06

Ditto to #6 I'm religious as well, but seriously, even religious bumper stickers with big bold letters saying "Jesus is the only way" irritate me to no end. I love you, #63. Love. You.

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:08

34... Mother Teresa? Gandhi? No?

Ox_Baker 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:08

She wasn't being religious; she was being crazy. It's been pretty common since the Bush years.

QiScorpion 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:10

i'm Christian too, but shifting weather patterns hearlding the return of Jesus who is upset about abortion and Obama is madness, plain and simple. bad luck and pray it doesn't happen again. :P

lol_seriously 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:11

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh......................

bella_brasil 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:11

wow thank you #18 for your insight. good thing you've helped me realize that. This is funny but how is it an FML?

geesquared 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:12

Ahh that sucks. I don't care if she's religious, but the fact of connecting a sneeze to Jesus, abortions, and the "anti-Christ Obama" is ridiculous. FYL, indeed. Evolution a liberal agenda? HAHA!

Rosinha_fml 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:12

#57 If you didnt get the joke about the pirates, just google "pastafarian", it will make more sense ;-)

mattsomething 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 22:12

People like her give us a bad name. I believe in evolution, I support Obama, and I like what he's doing. And I'm a Christian. Funny. It seems like she's (one of many who's) following the "letter of the law" (Bible) and not really thinking about what it means. And that's exactly what Jesus said about certain Jewish groups (Pharisees, I believe). Also, lol @ #13.