Miscellaneous: Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend....

By aru9 - 12/09/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 243

You deserved it 37 019

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Same thing different taste

Impossible

By Anonymous - 06/06/2011 14:18

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 208

You deserved it 4 135

Bland date

By tomtomcutiepoof - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 260

You deserved it 7 635

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 518

You deserved it 3 372

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 2 916

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 483

You deserved it 9 910

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 00:30 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 592

You deserved it 3 750

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 334

You deserved it 4 004

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 2 041

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 31 217

ninjaCarebear 17

Tuesday 13 September 2011 1:14

Jackass.

LiveLaughFML 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 1:24

"you must be blind to be going out with him." "yeah, she is." *nervous chuckle* "I mean, what does she see in y--" "wait--no,"

Comments

Mikemfm88 6

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:13

Tryna smash?

Amy_244 10

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:22

Awkard much...

stellimonster 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:26

how does that have anything to do with the guy who wrote this? the guy who had the gf should have wrote one instead

PoshLife_Cross 5

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:45

It was love at first sight.

maggiemae14 2

Wednesday 14 September 2011 2:02

oooh awkward... -.-

yaaypenguinss 1

Wednesday 14 September 2011 6:10

this reminds me of Shallow Hal

tigrouficele2012 44

Wednesday 14 September 2011 9:18

People jokingly insult their friends all the time. It's not tasteless, it's normal.

dansco 24

Wednesday 14 September 2011 9:22

Funny unless you saw the white stick and dog lol

Nissi 17

Wednesday 14 September 2011 10:26

Oh dear.. Ohh dear.. :/

saltan_fml 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 14:30

It was a joke, you didn't know. I am sure no one took it to personal.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 428

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 955

The Top

Today, my friend, who had begged me to buy them a plane ticket after being stranded overseas, blocked me. They didn't even use the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 726

You deserved it 509

Today, my mum refused to send me a picture she took on her iPhone until it synced up to her iPad, because she claimed it will then appear larger. When I tried to explain the image will be the same regardless, she angrily accused me of not having any trust in her. I still haven’t seen the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 93

Today, I was at my mom's when I suddenly doubled over in pain. It was so bad that I begging to be taken to the hospital, just when her dog started coughing. She immediately ran to her dog, asked if she was OK, saying that she hates to see anyone she loves in pain. I sat there hunched over in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 109

Today, I was in a Zoom meeting. I usually have tape over my camera and pretend it's busted so I don't have to perform like a circus monkey, but I forgot that I'd removed it to chat with my cousin last night. I was halfway through eating a mango when my boss paused mid-speech and said, “Is now really the best time for that?” The meeting went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 671

Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 695

You deserved it 1 420

Today, I finally found out why all three of my roommates were ignoring me. They like to disinfect everything every time they use it, and I don't. They had a problem with that, so they were hoping that by not talking to me, I'd "notice something was wrong and change." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 922

You deserved it 876