Miscellaneous: Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and...

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 737

You deserved it 6 053

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Same thing different taste

By obsequiousfannyflapper - 10/02/2013 23:13 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 2 988

By carnivore - 22/09/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 623

You deserved it 5 908

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 88

By Weasel123 - 26/10/2012 07:58 - United States - Anadarko

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 946

You deserved it 2 352

Hypocrisy

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 212

By pinkleopleurodon - 09/12/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 2 579

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 17 497

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 473

You deserved it 3 259

By ledon - 16/11/2011 04:15 - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 197

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 4 599

Hadesas 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:16

Tell her gtfo then

ICATiger 13

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:17

Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.

Comments

kalcountry 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:05

i dont understand vegetarianism. scratch that. i hate the thought of vegetarianism. animals are on earth for a reason: to put them on a bbq

BigKatt 1

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:05

That's why u wear a condom. Then you can put your meat in anyone's fridge with worrying about contamination.

kalcountry 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:07

damn vegetarians

Stormmm 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:07

Tell HER to get a mini fridge. Vegetarians are so demanding. Sheesh.

KazuTrumpet1512 21

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:10

Vegetarians have a right to be vegetarian, but they do not have a right to force that upon someone else.

shitwit2234 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:27

Your gonna stick your schlong in the fridge and contaminate her food?

ceepevoy 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:31

she sounds a little bit extreme

rahrah765765 11

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:49

Shes obviously a cold bitch- she can refrigerate her vegetables in her own meat.

jasonpatel03 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 10:09

Wow tell the b**** to get her own fridge then. I'm vegetarian too but don't really make an issue out of it.

somewhatlucky 1

Sunday 8 January 2012 10:17

every second a plant is killed all because of a vegetarian. A moment of silence for every fruit and vegetable affected.

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Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 609

You deserved it 733

Today, my spouse gave me the gift of hugging me. I'm so touch-starved, I cried. I can see our relationship crumbling but I'm the only one who seems to want to fix it. Our kid saw me and I can't even explain how sad it made me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 153

Today, I was playing card games with some colleagues a won a hand. One mate said jokingly "your mother never loved you!", I replied jokingly "at least your mother loved me"... All of a sudden he punched in the face and said, "don't ever disrespect my mother again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 684

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 7 432

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 113

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 4 039

Same thing different taste

Go vegan

Hypocrisy

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