Intimacy: Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2...

By audied - 04/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 300

You deserved it 4 630

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 58 993

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 379

You deserved it 4 776

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 290

You deserved it 4 017

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 27/06/2022 04:00

Today, I overheard my girlfriend admit to her sister she likes sex in the dark not because she’s embarrassed of her body, but because she’s disgusted by mine. She loves me, enjoys sex with me, and wants to make me happy, but apparently my tattoos and hairy chest are a turn off, so no lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 414

Minor Threat

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 20:24 - France - Paris

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 387

You deserved it 13 286

By Joshua - 03/06/2016 17:53 - United States - Weatherford

Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 507

You deserved it 1 228

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 123

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 786

Topping from the bottom

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 21:00

Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 303

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 5 969

Decipher 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:02

buurrnnnn

JD_Knuckles 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:12

Just be glad you're getting some. There are people with nicer bodies and still haven't gotten any. It's not like her's is any better...

Comments

trucktwister 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:57

haha this is the first and only fml I've ever moderated

lynsieloowho 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:59

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah *deep breath* ahahahahahahahahahahaha

Vash_41288 10

Sunday 18 July 2010 15:11

#23 you look like some one I knew

FortuneFaded 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:02

Wow man, you're telling us you MODERATED this?! You're awesome.

PandaPandaPandaX 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 14:28

I honestly can't tell if you're being serious or not.

tAlk_NERdy_tO_ME 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:27

wow, thats kinda really fckd up. maybe she said that to throw you off because she had a dick once & doesnt want you to see her battle scars ×.×

daniel1_1 13

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:52

pwnd

teacher411 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:59

Wow. What a burn! But hey at least you're still getting some

Cowless 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 5:13

So basically you're ugly but still managed to find someone willing to **** you for two years. Wow. Your life is so ******.

snafu57 1

Tuesday 5 January 2010 5:34

what I've heard from others is deja moo. the feeling I've heard this bull before. do you want a relationship with someone who finds you physically repulsive? but go slow. she may have such low self esteem that she'd rather have you think you are less than desirable than to admit that she is. beauty is as beauty does. she may have been sexually abused in the past, but in any event, couple therapy would be in order if she's a keeper. good luck!