Transportation: Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When I...

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When I came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 807

You deserved it 47 347

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Same thing different taste

By karl - 10/01/2009 06:50 - Ireland

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 467

You deserved it 44 357

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 123

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 08/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 413

Too good to be perfect

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 378

By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 090

You deserved it 2 829

By parkingisawesome - 06/05/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 057

You deserved it 5 833

By greek_dancer - 13/07/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 46 413

By relievedbutashamed - 22/02/2019 20:00

Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 434

I'm new to all this!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2023 20:00

Today, I tried to parallel park in front of a crowd. After several failed attempts, someone shouted from a window above, "Nice 23-point turn, dumbass!" I was practicing on an empty street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 247

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

SpunkT 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:04

Awesome. Also, can we seriously knock that "FIRST!!!OMG I"M AWESOME CAUSE I CHECK WEBSITES SO OFTEN I CAN COMMENT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE LOOK HOW COOL I AM HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" crap out? Or can FML just delete those comments? I know other sites just go through and delete stupid "FIRST" comments. Even if you say something else after you're a total douche. We can see that you're first. You're not cool. Go outside.

24788 6

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:00

I will never understand why people go to parades. If it wasn't for the candy when I was younger I would have shot myself. Hopefully they let you out.

Comments

glockjaw 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:43

obviously he doesn't care about being 1st. Really, if you do you have no life. and NO I'M NOT JEALOUS ABOUT BEING NOT 1ST. but i digress, don't worry bud, who cares if it was a good friday parade? shit happens every year. sucks that your car was blocked in so you couldn't get out of there, but eff them for wasting your time.

youswallow 2

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:49

dude, you completely deserved it

knitbitch 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:50

Hahaha awesome! Smoking, though? Really?

KingKralj 31

Wednesday 22 June 2016 8:36

OP wasn't smoking, you dingleberry

knitbitch 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:52

Oh wait never mind, it's the SHOP WORKER who was smoking. I'm a total dumbass. Sorry...

elfuzzo 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 14:06

Who has parades on good friday? That's silly. fyl

nicelander 1

Sunday 12 April 2009 14:07

Today as in yesterday, lol They weren't celebrating Jesus's death, they were celebrating my birthday!

validus 0

Monday 21 June 2010 19:54

omg! u r zombeh jeeezus!!!!!

SpunkT 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 14:11

#8 and #9. Yeah I really give a shit if I'm the first comment. I actually have been the first comment once and for a second, to myself, I was like "oh neat". I didn't go back and edit my comment to tack on "FIRST" like a tool. If being first is the most excitement you have in your life, I repeat my previous statement... GO OUTSIDE.