Transportation: Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're...

By reb2632 - 29/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 081

You deserved it 12 730

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gone bird

By Whoops - 06/06/2011 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 744

You deserved it 4 534

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 9 389

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 416

Act of god

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 00:00

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 93

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 902

By Username - 13/05/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 6 735

Road hazard

By houdinette - 22/11/2013 23:14 - Sweden - Norrköping

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 61 972

They all look the same to me

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 570

Throw the bill at the kid. Do it.

By Deadmeat - 12/09/2017 04:29

Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 271

anglcdvl89 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 1:45

I can just hear a little girl go "Look how pretty the butterfly i--WHATDIDYOUDOOOOO???" FbothyourL because now your daughter probably thinks your a monster.

xkonstantine125x 7

Saturday 30 May 2009 1:38

Lol...I'm still laughing..oh god this is great

Comments

whobutme23 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:52

Blame it on the car, she's 4, she doesn't have to know you did it.

Spl4sh_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 3:38

What did she do after that?

blackhak25 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 5:12

Oopsy!! She was probobly mad!

moonlit_manga 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 0:30

Hahahahahaha! Omg.... #5 jeanniner yes you are the only one who thinks it's stupid, you sour old hag. >:) --fox

lebatsirhc 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 9:40

): Poor girl.

Shyman4ever 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 18:31

Do you accodently hit the windshield wiper handle even when there isn't a butterfly??? It's weird that all FML's are a coincidence.

Adriennerox211 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:48

R.I.P butterfly :[ Imagine frum the butterfly: Today, I was flying around and came across a car with a little girl in the back. I decided to give her a little 'show' so I landed on the windshield. After hearing a comment from the child, I immediately get smashed and killed. I am now in butterfly heaven. FML :P