Health: Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML - FML

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 421

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Same thing different taste

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 002

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924

You deserved it 7 349

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 327

You deserved it 14 193

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 982

You deserved it 4 834

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 6 458

By paulinapo - 28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 2 851

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 332

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 3 993

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 316

Next

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 January 2010 12:31

most. intense. shit. ever.

Impromptu_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 12:22

That'll teach you to build it up. Next time, when nature calls, pick up the phone.

Comments

Rosebell26 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:26

Oh man! That's sick. Time to get some craisins!

MakeupBurn 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 2:39

ROFL! Had a big load didn't you?

chris231997 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 2:46

I love FMLs that are short and sweet.

Heidirenee92 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 5:44

now that was some intense poopin'! ha

Jade94_fml 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 5:55

Intense crap... o_o

ryan007665 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 6:30

Guys stop being assholes to pendatic.. He spelled it the way it was supposed to be spelled in the UK. Secondly, he made a TYPO and wrote "muy" instead of "my". You may want to call it a misspelled word but guess what? The "u" and "y" are next to each other so that is a common mistake. Thirdly, I don't blame him for correcting that. "Moar" and "more". I also get pissed off when I see misspelled things. So you guys may want to stop having gay sex with each other and just chill.

ming88 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 8:01

i spent 5 mins visualising the process but couldnt.. care to explain how u did it?

supmofukka 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 8:47

at least u didnt tear u butt hole. i ****** up my hamstring runnin lol that mustve been a crazy shit.

MiloC_fml 3

Tuesday 5 January 2010 8:48

Whoa there Akibono-san! work those quads before squatting sumo style

supmofukka 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 8:48

at least u didnt hav an anyerism

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You deserved it 537

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The Top

Hang in there, buddy!

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I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 403

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I agree, your life sucks 47 409

You deserved it 6 123

Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 99