Intimacy: Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give...

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 328

You deserved it 45 470

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Same thing different taste

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 062

You deserved it 22 457

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 495

You deserved it 431

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 10 161

Played yourself

By nano123 - 17/04/2020 08:00

Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 566

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 7 876

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 436

You deserved it 6 295

By Kevin - 09/09/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 201

You deserved it 42 941

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 591

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 47 001

milakitty21 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:05

who were you trying to impress?

srunano 4

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:04

Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid

Comments

VeryNice329 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:00

I like your perspective.

Domonator 16

Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:32

"Today I met a really nice guy, but I guess he's taken since he has a hickey. FML"

Sarah__Louise 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:41

fake.

liz_sandoval09 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:54

Should have just went to a strip club at least you'd get some kind of action

bandgeek_bri 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:28

wow

AchillesTheSwift 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:49

lol!!

PhillyFox 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:22

Who are you trying to impress? Yes, parading around with hickeys on your neck is so cool.

canzo378 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:30

call psychiatric center?

xxhannahxx1204 2

Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:59

creativity: an absolutely wonderful quality to have.

jaybird9 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 15:17

haha wow

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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You deserved it 7 403

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I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 320

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I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 1 892

Same thing different taste

Played yourself

I'M SORRY!

Old dog, new tricks

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