Love: Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all...

By yarhyun1 - 19/08/2012 16:00 - United States

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 335

You deserved it 2 548

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

The protector

By Dad - 21/08/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 286

Second guessing

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I realized how toxic and controlling my wife is. She left to go on a vacation, and I'm so used to her micromanaging everything I do that I'm completely unable to function. I tried to play a video game and had a panic attack because I imagined her walking in and screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 174

How could you?

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 92

By StabStab - 11/01/2015 13:03 - Belgium

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 345

You deserved it 2 964

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 335

You deserved it 5 169

By JJ - 03/10/2015 07:42 - United States - Irwin

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 4 478

By logansowow - 25/08/2016 00:37

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 885

You deserved it 914

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 584

You deserved it 5 227

Fight clubbed

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 140

Welshite 39

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:08

A relationship is built on trust. You definitely need to address this issue with her.

beezerbnt00 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:09

Bitches be crazy

Comments

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:19

Take some martial arts classes, too. Then challenge her the next time she decides to threaten you. Don't hurt her, just, you know, counter her every move and maybe rough her up a little bit.

cat0720 9

Sunday 19 August 2012 21:09

That's a terrible idea. If anything it would make her want to use violence even more.

brianjman14 22

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:23

Is she seriously that retarded? She threatens you if you get slightly frustrated? If she attacks you first, SHE'LL be the abuser, not the other way around.

AznSamoan52 10

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:24

Your wife seems to be a little too paranoid. I suggest that you try to get her to trust you. If that doesn't work, then take some martial arts classes of your own. And sleep with one eye open, just in case.

fernclogger 5

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:26

So every time you sigh you get neck chopped?

kimg0885 23

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:26

Why out of all the crap advice Dr. Phil gives, she chooses to take this one?

sheethapins 13

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:28

Maybe you two should address this with an outside source? I know this guy, works miracles, his name is Dr. Phi...

zandalee 19

Monday 20 August 2012 7:25

Dr Phil is a useless twat

vbmg152 18

Sunday 19 August 2012 20:33

Those shows are nothing but trouble! I leaned that when I was newly married, being brainwashed by Oprah! I quit watching to save my marriage! Still married 23 yrs later!