Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the... - FML

By buhknee - 25/11/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 530

You deserved it 13 513

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By KillMeNow - 06/06/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 241

You deserved it 12 156

By kherien - 12/08/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 119

You deserved it 8 174

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 507

You deserved it 3 722

Artistic licence

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 14:00

Today, after spending at least 4 hours drawing a realistic shadow of a vampire for a picture contest, I finally remembered that vampires aren't supposed to produce shadows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 744

By Hmmmm - 20/09/2012 14:58 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 601

You deserved it 2 913

Stuck in the past

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 409

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 281

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 507

You deserved it 5 672

Next

Top comments

Squadoosh 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:29

Lol, yeah. Our generation is in love with gay vampires.

werzal 5

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:32

So technically "F*CK OUR LIFE" ... Thats so awful...

Comments

JohnnyOnTheSpot 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:46

x a thousand AMENS.

abbylolz 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 6:03

damn right! keep on sparkling vampz!

BaBiiSpAnKy821 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 6:09

omg thats right fol!!!! dude this vampie shyt is getting old... it was cute at first but holy crap guys white boizz r soooo lastt year

BaBiiSpAnKy821 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 6:11

uhh **** our lives... white boiz r soo overrated... and hate to burst ur twilight fantasies.... vampires arent real

DBkkk 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 17:38

I used to like twilight before it became popular and 9 yr old girls flooded everything with it. Ps ima guy I knew about twilight 2 yes ago

Slinky690 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 18:05

#349, go drink bleach you ******* retard, have you ever sat down a red a ******* book "Two lovers that cant be" Romeo and Juliet you ******* retard

mrfrog 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 20:58

twilight kicks ass!! sparkle on vampies :) we love you!! xxx

mrfrog 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 21:01

twilight kicks ass!! sparkle on vampies :) we love you!! xxx

allmidnighteyes 10

Saturday 28 November 2009 22:33

Twilight is the literary equivalent to bands like Nickelback, Millionaires, Brokencyde, 3OH!3, Attack Attack!, Owl City, Basshunter, and Blood On The Dance Floor.

Slinky690 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 0:20

#388 you pretty much just said it

fancypantsninja 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 23:27

Hey I like Attack Attack and nickelback!!!!!!!

GKLM 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 10:06

Its true :( FOL

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

The Top

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 4 575

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 420

You deserved it 41 056

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 4 834

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 066

You deserved it 7 412

Today, aside from clearing out my bank accounts and having an affair, the kicker was finding out my fiancé planned on taking himself and his mistress to Cancun for his birthday, while I would be attending the Marine Corps boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 167

Today, my boyfriend, who is also a coworker, proposed to me in the parking of the store we work at when it was dark out. He came up behind me, and, thinking it was some creep, I stabbed him with my car keys. The scar will alway help him remember our engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 184