Intimacy and Health: Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying,...

By shittyemployee - 28/07/2018 19:00

Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 3 168

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 132

By msnewyearseve - 01/01/2012 17:19 - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 33 133

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 12 023

By mushroomtop - 23/09/2017 23:15

Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 3 524

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 590

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 631

You deserved it 32 852

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 17:43 - Spain - Tordesillas

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 34 869

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 28 July 2018 19:55

You got your boo-boo from over-doing the snoo-snoo.

Emelka_fml 20

Saturday 28 July 2018 20:04

Fifty shades of ouch!

Comments

joeyl1990 28

Saturday 28 July 2018 19:09

What kind of sex were you having?

joeyl1990 28

Saturday 28 July 2018 19:10

I don't mean that in a perverted way I'm just curious cause I never had my face slammed into a wall during sex.

julfunky 29

Saturday 28 July 2018 20:06

I’m guessing she was arched — head tilted back. Either over the side of the bed or just a dramatic arching in bed. Severe thrusting slammed her too far.

julfunky 29

Saturday 28 July 2018 20:07

I’m guessing she was arched — head tilted back. Either over the side of the bed or just a dramatic arching in bed. Severe thrusting slammed her too far.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 29 July 2018 6:33

It's called having all night wild pig sex.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 28 July 2018 19:41

Hello, shittyemployee, the first step is Admitting You Have a Problem.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 28 July 2018 19:55

You got your boo-boo from over-doing the snoo-snoo.

Emelka_fml 20

Saturday 28 July 2018 20:04

Fifty shades of ouch!

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 29 July 2018 6:31

Now that's what I call some great sex😈😌

commandpriority 5

Sunday 29 July 2018 17:01

She sounds like fun!!

chessu 21

Wednesday 1 August 2018 20:15

Not sure I agree with the YDIs.. I mean yeah I guess, she put herself in this position and going to work hungover etc. isn't the bestest of practices, she's probably young and allowed to have fun and despite all made it to work anyway. Good on you, girl!