Miscellaneous: Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes...

By lucas - 12/12/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 606

You deserved it 3 177

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Same thing different taste

By Lord Kane of Flatulon - 06/10/2015 11:13 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 890

You deserved it 1 675

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 2 834

Control your guns

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 04:00

Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 134

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 4 962

By Mishti - 13/05/2018 15:00

Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 214

You deserved it 1 629

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 477

You deserved it 3 919

GHOSTS!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 05:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 89

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 760

You deserved it 1 184

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 944

You deserved it 321

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 420

You deserved it 5 517

lakaiskate 12

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

Pay your mum to super glue his hand to his dick

baseballplaya5 7

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

That's a sticky situation

Comments

akg98 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 5:56

Use alcohol :)

ciwanski 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 6:37

Rubbing alcohol works to get it off also. Honestly, hot water won't do much else other than make your feet all pruny.

nikefan201 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:00

that isnt normal! uh oh. better tell my kid to put his feet under water.

nikefan201 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:00

that isnt normal! uh oh. better tell my kid to put his feet under water.

j3ebrules 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 9:06

Um... were you awake and submissive as he did this? Because if my dad approached me with superglue, I'd run.

PieterseMJ 20

Tuesday 13 December 2011 10:56

that actually made me laugh... sucks to be you but thanks for sharing the joke!! HahaHa!

Major_General 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 12:25

You do know that super glue is actually activated by water vapor.

jek122 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 14:14

Lol sucks to suck

thefuckinloser 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 15:04

you should be plotting revenge

cah276 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 22:45

Try nail polish remover

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

The Top

Today, I got charged with drink driving, without even driving my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 556

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 928

You deserved it 3 037

Today, I deleted my account on social media and changed my name, all because I posted something hilariously inappropriate, and everybody laughed except one lady. My followers savagely jumped to my defense against this "one lady". I had to tell people to stop roasting my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 354

Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 1 037

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I added an old high school friend on Facebook. She claims this person is getting in the middle of our relationship. I haven't talked to him in years, and he lives across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 167

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 210

You deserved it 1 993

Same thing different taste

Control your guns

GHOSTS!

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

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