Animals: Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom,...

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 194

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Same thing different taste

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 742

You deserved it 30 887

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 41 627

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 011

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 32 000

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

WithaKay 4

Friday 15 April 2011 19:33

Why were you trying to get it to climb up the wall? You should've just killed the thing.

BWill9014 4

Friday 15 April 2011 19:43

And this is why I fear spiders... because thy can jump on you :l

Comments

tona01 16

Friday 15 April 2011 19:54

i think OP that you tried to kill the spider but missed

khaya 9

Friday 15 April 2011 20:02

We all know spiders aren't scared of moving hands, next time come up with a better plan.

enonymous 8

Friday 15 April 2011 20:02

YDI for not watching the matrix enough so you could avoid that spider.

dt520 4

Friday 15 April 2011 20:07

lysol is the shit when it comes to killing spiders

lmaoatall 6

Friday 15 April 2011 20:08

speaking from personal experience, do not scream, keep your pie hole shut! tight!

ifiFaLL 1

Friday 15 April 2011 20:09

you are terrified of a spider... great

sexycountrygirl0 0

Friday 15 April 2011 22:29

that's like one of the most common fears.

almost3 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 4:28

he never said he was afraid of it...

Paigeyk 3

Saturday 16 April 2011 10:51

#20 (ifiFaLL) you are super sexy! Just sayin :)

ifiFaLL 1

Saturday 16 April 2011 15:29

well ya kno wat? he implied it

mdmmidnight 0

Friday 15 April 2011 20:14

fail

rjnorton84 0

Friday 15 April 2011 20:57

always always always go for the vacuum cleaner.

ILoveEggnog 7

Friday 15 April 2011 21:21

I saw a spider crawl out of a vacuum. My favorite method is hairspray and a lighter.

rjnorton84 0

Friday 15 April 2011 21:41

hmm how about a vacuum filled with insecticide...

SeaChicken 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 0:19

Or vacuum another spider and they'll eat eachother.

staceysgenesis16 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 2:33

my favorite method is a shoe or bug spray .. but thats just me

CarleeBugg123 5

Friday 15 April 2011 20:58

I would have had a heart attack!!!

doggywalker 1

Friday 15 April 2011 21:05

awsome!!! do a spider dance

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The Top

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 076

You deserved it 15 544

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 283

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 698

You deserved it 3 355

Today, while working the register, I told a kid his total was $2.15. He then took his shoe off and handed me his money. It was damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 111

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341