Not really. Many phones will light up and show a message with the name of the person who is sending the text, even if it's locked. My phone does it, and so does my husband's iPhone.

Also meant to add that some of the text will often show also. Either way, an unfamiliar woman texting my husband warrants some snooping.

He shouldn't have anything to hide! I believe all marriages should have a "open policy" know each others passwords, permission to look at one another's phones, face book accounts, etc.

Typically, in my experience, the only people who have a problem with "snooping" are the ones with something to hide. Also, I find it odd that that's always the first defense. "I read your texts and saw you were cheating." "Oh yeah? Why were you reading my texts?". I've been there. In reality, if you've got nothing to hide then there shouldn't be a problem. Marriages work better when partners don't keep secrets.

This has always been a fuzzy line for me. I do think marriages should have few forbidden areas in regards to communications but one shouldn't look through his/her spouse's phone, email, etc. without prior consent. That said, OP could be a snoopy person by nature but what I've found to be more common is that spouses become snoopier when they pick up on other signs of infidelity. I'm willing to believe OP's husband became secretive, uncommunicative, pulled disappearing acts, or was acting guilty or jealous.

45- You're right, marriages do work better when there are no secrets. With that being said, "Candice" was obviously a secret. Snooping is the lesser of two evils.

There is the idea of respect for one another's property and personal space. Just because you share bodily fluids with someone does not necessarily mean you are comfortable giving up every piece of your space and privacy to them. But maybe that is just me.

Yeah. That's just you. Marriage is a bit deeper than "sharing bodily fluids."

147- it's not that I constantly check my husband phone or email, but the fact that I know his passwords and his mine, honestly means a lot. I have no reason to suspect he's hiding anything, but I can pick up his phone any time I like and read his texts/go through pictures, it's cool, mainly I'm looking at cute stuff he has saved on his phone that I don't have on mine, or sending pictures of us to me

At some point in a relationship, it's not violating your partner's privacy anymore because you both don't have anything to hide... Unless of course, you do have something to hide, then you can use the "you violated my privacy" card.

Good point

I don't think it was a wrong number or a prank. The number was saved in the phone.

I wasn't going to thumb you down until you used the word uncool

I'd rather be considered a snooping wife than be cheated on by my husband. I believe everything happens for a reason. OP saw this text, and it seems to me that the reason was her husband is an unfaithful asshole.

She probably felt like she had good reason to snoop. When your husband is cheating there are usually signs.

They're married, not boyfriend and girlfriend. They've made a lifelong commitment to one another, and most married couples are comfortable with each other to share their privacy. I don't see anything wrong with her seeing such a text message. It might be seen as an invasion of privacy for some, but they don't necessarily share the same ideals this married couple has. Regardless, I agree with what kyleekay said in a previous comment: "I'd rather be a snoop than a cheater."

Actually it's not, my name is Candice and I'm not a ****, And your welcome for informing u on that

I had that happen. I logged onto a shared computer and found multiple messages to different women talking about me behind my back. It isn't fun. Nothing in my house is private anymore. It was either that or I was going to make him cancel all of his accounts.

Exactly. My husband and I now know each other's passwords, and our relationship is better because of that. Communication and trust are crucial.

43) Did you immediately assume your husband was cheating, based on a single message from his 'friend'? Or did you follow 13's suggestion and talk to him about the situation before making an informed decision?

135- I didn't say I assumed he was cheating, I said it made me uncomfortable. This particular friend was someone he was close with while in the Navy, and when we were still dating, he had admitted to having feelings for her in the past. Also, it wasn't just one message. It was a thread of messages with an intimate feel. He was expressing concern and offering advice and support to her and trying to get to the root of problems that she had not fully disclosed; prior to the discovery of this message, we were having intimacy problems because I felt that he did not really care about my feelings. Needless to say, him offering his undivided attention and support to her gave me a weird feeling in my gut. Lastly, "Fortunately we talked about it and he decided to delete her off his friends list, and to stop communicating completely with her."

*than

Easier said then done...