Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical...

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 4 223

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Same thing different taste

By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 3 578

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 2 595

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 216

You deserved it 6 252

By lauramarie - 23/07/2011 14:18 - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 567

You deserved it 15 610

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 918

You deserved it 2 488

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 459

You deserved it 2 919

Terminally online

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 154

By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 634

You deserved it 17 378

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 458

You deserved it 3 035

It's still a bop! It slaps!

By Please find a new song - 20/11/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 76

Uscdrew1 7

Friday 23 December 2011 8:23

Well that blows. Actually, no it doesn't. Let your dad do what he wants.

randomguy1millon_fml 0

Friday 23 December 2011 8:28

Go Bach there and help him

Comments

artemisrox98 10

Friday 23 December 2011 8:47

Well, that's new one.

afulks78 11

Friday 23 December 2011 8:47

Did u help your dad blow Thoes balls ;)

natashax21 5

Friday 23 December 2011 8:56

*shivers*

JenDanielle917 13

Friday 23 December 2011 18:59

... I just lost a little more hope I have for mankind.

Right_Click 12

Friday 23 December 2011 8:49

Pretty much anything that was written before our grandparents were born and is still being played is awesome.

ariannaimelda 7

Friday 23 December 2011 8:55

I don't see the problem...?

Dishwad 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:29

Who?

Ins0mau 20

Friday 23 December 2011 15:25

Why?

mynameispickle 0

Friday 23 December 2011 8:58

Umm...what's wrong with that? I'm not saying that like "ohh, I do that all the time" i just don't see the problem...

hellbilly205 17

Friday 23 December 2011 8:59

Derp where is herp? Dont you know you herp before you derp?

geon_olam 17

Friday 23 December 2011 9:00

hey i teach music theory! are you calling me a blow tard?

Snafuusmc 12

Friday 23 December 2011 9:01

Wow what a guy.

TheDog6 24

Friday 23 December 2011 9:02

You cannot beat the classics.

RrLSf19 0

Friday 23 December 2011 9:04

That's not something you see every day!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 295

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 818

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 662

You deserved it 9 481

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 889

You deserved it 7 813

Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 927

You deserved it 2 950

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 41 647

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 750

You deserved it 5 621

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 598

You deserved it 8 483