Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on...

By lebato97 - 09/12/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 660

You deserved it 80 894

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 5 860

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 5 045

By Anon - 26/12/2015 02:03 - United States

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 552

You deserved it 1 394

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 396

Christmas gifts

By not a thief - 24/12/2021 01:59

Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 141

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 144

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Christmasloverandstuff - 25/12/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 903

You deserved it 42 524

By sucks_brah - 25/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 2 514

By Cinderstar95 - 28/12/2016 09:34 - United States - Schererville

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 346

You deserved it 437

DFlit1 0

Friday 9 December 2011 8:59

Owned!

borkchop1992 15

Friday 9 December 2011 9:00

i bet your neighbors dont like you because you typically do douchy things like this

Comments

Osito2011 9

Friday 9 December 2011 17:10

So they have you a present too op. cuz I'm confused. Did you give them a present and they gave you one back.

tcxox 0

Friday 9 December 2011 17:30

That is hilarious!

Llamacod 11

Friday 9 December 2011 17:36

Sorry downstairs, but technically we are both correct. A birthday by definition is both an anniversary of the birth( by one definition) and by yet another definition the actual birthday which includes day of the year and year. As the poster didn't actually say "we we're born on the same day of the year" I was just using one of the definitions to make a point. rocks and glass houses bastard, rocks and glass houses.

Slimma 20

Friday 9 December 2011 17:37

What in the bluest of blue hell is wrong with you OP? How in the world is stealing ever justified? They hate you for a reason and all you did is just solidify that reasoning. Who in their right mind would try to steal someone's Christmas present? I mean where in your head did that ever seem like a good idea? They don't like you so you are going to try to purposely piss them off and dislike you more? Wow... this tops as ... wow. What an idiot.

zebrapattern 6

Friday 9 December 2011 17:55

wow, are you serious? I hope you get coal this year for Christmas >:[

maddy1028 0

Friday 9 December 2011 18:10

Your neighbors rock, douche bag!

TheWindowLicker 13

Friday 9 December 2011 18:26

Llamacod, you can ASSUME which he meant. Why would he say that if it were false? He said it using the definition that makes it true. Now stop trying to correct everyone(yes, I've seen you try and do it on every Fml and almost always get thumbed down). No one thinks you're any smarter for trying to correct every little thing or mentioning women can be bosses too. Also, in a verbal argument with Doc, you have a pretty big chance of getting your ass whooped. Juuuuuuust sayin'.