Miscellaneous: Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text...

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 183

You deserved it 17 632

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 302

You deserved it 4 804

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 9 663

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 112

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 100

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 26 033

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 732

You deserved it 6 071

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 679

#blessed

By Loney - 22/04/2018 19:00

Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 562

You deserved it 602

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 3 608

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 12:19

Did you say thank you? Don't be rude now.

amatayo 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 12:12

how did he have your cell phone number? making up stories to get on fml is lame.

Comments

carolthebitch 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:48

omg..this is so ******* hilarious..hahaha...and yeah..u shouldnt have given him your number..its kinda stupid..

moonmask 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:57

call the cops.

me199 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:03

call the cops

Cant_Touch_This_ 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:18

Call the ****** COPS. This FML made me LMFAO, but I HAVE TO AGREE WITH EVERYONE ELSE ON HERE. This does sound like a completely FAKE FML.

Cowgirl1995 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:12

eewwww he watches you in the shower

_iseeyou_ 1

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:28

wow. that's really creepy..stalker much? haha

DrewsFML 8

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:10

On the bright side now you know why there's a penis sticking out of the wall where the soap dish should be.

ocho117 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:22

How the hell did he get your phone number???

Reckers5704 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:46

how the hell did he know you sneezed

The__Redneck 7

Thursday 3 December 2009 2:55

Set a gun on the sink while you shower. He'll know.

inlovex0x0 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 4:13

wait wait wait .. do old people even know how 2 text lol .. why would he have ur cell number in the first place if he so creepy ..smh

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You deserved it 39

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 156

You deserved it 3 776

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 3 244

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 841

You deserved it 3 490

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 559

You deserved it 17 551

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 452

You deserved it 6 285

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 1 982