Intimacy: Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while....

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 066

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Same thing different taste

By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 389

You deserved it 9 259

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 6 454

By miapapaya - 15/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 349

You deserved it 6 673

By Oops - 26/09/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 952

You deserved it 7 844

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 919

You deserved it 11 084

By vsshopper - 22/02/2012 19:21 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 213

You deserved it 3 873

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 16:44 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 812

You deserved it 4 240

Waste of time

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 00:01

Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 893

Brain fart Andy over here

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 16:01 - Italy

Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 321

Nice boxers

By Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 874

You deserved it 9 545

maskedman 9

Monday 15 March 2010 12:29

Apparently he never had the "boys have a penis and girls have a ******" talk with his mommy and daddy.

Rickymonkeypants 0

Monday 15 March 2010 12:22

omg that is the fml of the day

Comments

78euge781995 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:16

Was the guy looking for a penis or havent you shaved down there in your landing strip so that it looks like a forest? You have to keep your landing strip clean or else airplanes cant find it, land and leave their passangers there.

CanadianNarwhal 13

Saturday 24 September 2011 4:33

Win

tinaletto 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:20

it's called a Brazilian wax maybe he will pay half to get it done

perdix 29

Monday 15 March 2010 13:28

Did Aerosmith write a follow-up song called "Lady Looks Like a Dude?" You didn't meet him at a gay bar, did you, Pat?

78euge781995 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:39

lol

Dubstep_fml 1

Monday 15 March 2010 16:01

unisex name win^^

seanseansean321 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:40

commenters are stupid. pubes have nothing to do with hygiene. they're a natural part of life. I let my pubes grow wild. when I unzip my pants. the song "in the jungle" starts playing

Magman_fml 7

Monday 15 March 2010 17:50

lol

sum1savemeh 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:59

lol!

sami1994 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:49

win! ^^

ifmyheartwasahou 2

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:43

I almost died laughing when I read this LOL.

meg1124 6

Monday 25 July 2011 7:25

ftw!

nicolebenaa 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:59

somebody needs to shave.

DizzoMonkey 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:59

Wow. that is one that I never saw coming!! Congrads on the twist! Hope the storys not true though..

chandlerthedog 0

Monday 15 March 2010 14:10

She is prob really fat and his hand was in a roll and he couldn't find the hole... good birth control I guess... hope the roll wasn't hairy... maybe had some white sweat cheese in it for a snack... yummmmmmmm.....