Intimacy: Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in...

By MySummerinEurope - 25/05/2012 22:59 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 571

You deserved it 29 832

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Same thing different taste

By garfield749 - 29/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 135

You deserved it 2 257

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 265

By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 3 952

Forever alone

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 08:08

Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 2 316

Great

By Jordan - 10/08/2018 14:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 994

You deserved it 196

By gullible - 21/02/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 976

You deserved it 8 586

So frustrating

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 14:57 - United States

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 607

You deserved it 8 592

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 110

You deserved it 4 333

By mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 647

You deserved it 43 246

By I hear everything... - 22/04/2017 18:00

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 085

You deserved it 305

Linkerdoodles 15

Saturday 26 May 2012 5:34

Do it in the shower! There's something wrong if your roommate comes in while you're in there...

all4pooh 4

Saturday 26 May 2012 5:36

I do. I do know what you mean..

Comments

MrBobby_fml 7

Saturday 26 May 2012 12:57

omfg can't you cope with jerkn off for a week?

Sanch101 7

Saturday 26 May 2012 13:20

You specify your room mate is a guy? As you did this does this mean if your room mate was a girl this would not have stopped you building calluses?

sausages01 0

Saturday 26 May 2012 14:02

So what your trying to say Is if your roommate was a girl you would wank right in front of her like she was a porno? Haha don't worry I know what you mean my boyfriend can't go 10 minutes with out being "on the toilet" :) just tell him F U I NEED TO PISS OUT OF MY WAY

SanaSazi 32

Saturday 26 May 2012 14:11

You're in Belgium/Europe ! Expand your horizons to more than 'personal' pursuits... Pursue a gal!!

CharliesCool2084 8

Saturday 26 May 2012 14:23

Can you not wait?

dragonmirado 12

Saturday 26 May 2012 14:26

The FML's have slipped. A guy not being able to jerk off is not grounds for an FML. Come on moderators...

rj33445 4

Saturday 26 May 2012 14:38

U shouldn't b choking the **** anyway

Monkeysmommy1 0

Saturday 26 May 2012 15:13

You're an idiot. Sorry.

likeAwesome 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 15:14

Naw I don't get what you mean actually...

perdix 29

Saturday 26 May 2012 15:17

You're an exchange student. Learn the culture in your host country. You are not far from Waterloo, so go out there, whip out little Napoleon and go all Duke of Wellington on it until he surrenders. You'll have a nice, authentic Belgian wank and learn a little history. Sounds gagner-gagner à moi.