Health: Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell...

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 5 556

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Same thing different taste

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 558

You deserved it 26 370

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 382

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 226

By mrsfantastic - 12/09/2010 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 588

You deserved it 6 504

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Noname - 19/02/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 8 687

Punned

By 4fingerdiscount - 13/09/2016 11:07 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 418

You deserved it 1 921

By blank - 21/07/2010 13:52 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 4 122

Loser

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 01:00

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 234

By humanchewtoy - 07/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 938

You deserved it 498

Lilbabynid3 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

So did you send one?

pointless07 1

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

douche.

Comments

dalek_fml 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 15:29

ahahaha

Breaker132 8

Saturday 31 December 2011 19:09

You should have replied, "Get over here, or our relationship didn't happen."

Lythargic 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 19:11

I bite boobies all the time they never need stitches.

71cudalover 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 1:27

Sounds like a child

chasity_27 2

Sunday 1 January 2012 2:24

I chuckled a little.

QQMorePlox 18

Sunday 1 January 2012 2:40

He's a keeper <3

lolstenholme 0

Monday 2 January 2012 8:11

Calm down you guys... It's just an internet joke. People don't understand so they just straight call the guy an asshole.

beckl 5

Monday 2 January 2012 8:11

He wants every picture he can get…

YagerMiester95 8

Monday 2 January 2012 10:32

Don't blame him. I did the same thing the other day. It's bit his fault it's the male condition.

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 3 January 2012 19:47

Rabies Boobies.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 536

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I was woken up early because the baby wallaby I am hand-rearing wanted food. She achieved this by peeing all over my pillow, and subsequently in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 490

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 532

Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 368

Today, I found out that yesterday's exam, which I left almost blank, had been leaked 3 hours prior. I hadn't been able to see it because my phone was out of juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 894

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 1 271

Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 541

Same thing different taste

Punned

Loser

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