Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by...

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 602

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Same thing different taste

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 517

You deserved it 4 037

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 126

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 419

You deserved it 4 472

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 538

You deserved it 29 644

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 456

You deserved it 6 328

Skittish

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 482

By tara22 - 27/04/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 182

You deserved it 6 305

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 715

You deserved it 6 019

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 6 539

Fop 6

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:38

YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?

hockeyfml555 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:38

good job moron

Comments

aback 4

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:46

He thought it would be sexy to slap the shit out of you.

rayrayy_fml 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:46

First of all, why in the world would you think he would find it sexy to have his naked girlfriend pounce on him as he reaches for pants? That sounds awful, to be honest. And two, your bf slaps people that charge at him? What a girly response.

gigi37 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 17:26

Exactly; it really isn't sexy at all to have someone naked jump out at you from where robbers and/or killers would usually hide... It would be sexy if you were waiting on his bed naked...but hiding in a closet merely to scare him? No way And haha #12, yeah, that was a girly response on his part.

littlegolferboy 4

Wednesday 2 September 2009 17:52

Well what do you expect? He is French after all.

mattmag 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 4:29

He's a French pimp!

feminist19 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:51

i think we are all mising the bigger picture here, the boyfriend physically assaulted his girlfriend. to the OP you should get out of this abusive relatioship now before its too late

tWitt3rBuG 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:51

Lma0, that's what happens when kids play around. Boo F'n Hoo!

Fractal_fml 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:56

Wait, he has heightened reflexes, and when somebody jumps out at him he SLAPS them? Wtf?

kukopia 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 19:24

Combine the hints; boyfriend, closet, pounce, slap...

Person_Man 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 20:03

haha #75 thats perfect

mousy 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 17:00

Wowza ok then, You tryed to suprise him ,he slaps you ouch! But it would of been better if it was someone else that opened the door Anyways kudo's for trying to be spontanious