Love: Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my...

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 3 712

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 4 064

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 167

You deserved it 2 718

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 403

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 5 285

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 147

You deserved it 588

By Whatever479 - 17/02/2011 17:29 - Ireland

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 734

You deserved it 37 715

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 111

You deserved it 6 077

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 114

You deserved it 3 500

OIFMedic 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 2:27

wow FYL, shoulda bitch slapped him!!

fml1026 4

Tuesday 9 March 2010 2:29

umm eww. thats oober disgusting :P

Comments

tomahawkinyouall 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:16

baha 52

okieraider71 4

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:37

Catch him asleep. I think you know where to wipe your ass.

BlaqMetal13 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 9:36

I was thinking along those lines, only she should tamper with hia fopd next time shee cooks for him.

BlaqMetal13 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 9:39

his food*

okieraider71 4

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:40

I'm not sure if that is worse than eating it. Either case=>you can do better!

twilight_0118 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:44

ew. that's just discusting.

lovemycowboys 3

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:49

That is disgusting! I'd dump his nasty ass!!

rachel7482 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:54

how did you find out????

Smokey2012 4

Tuesday 9 March 2010 5:26

to.

megbdw 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 5:27

lmaoo @ #'s 1,6,11

xXNaxieldXx 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 5:39

...Are you old enough to be on here little girl?

kokonator 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 6:26

loool just like when Peter griffin puted his booger in meg's hair loooooooooi ... seriously poor u

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 3 940

The Top

Today, my mom learned via Facebook that my ex is now divorced. She took this as a "sign from God" that he’s my soulmate, and took it upon herself to try to set us up. Not only have I not talked to this fool since we broke up in high school, I’m not sure who’s more pissed off, me or my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 562

You deserved it 148

Today, I was exhausted due to staying up all night practicing for the most important performance of my orchestral career. I decided to take a nap to energize myself in preparation of the evening and woke up just in time to realize I'd missed the entire concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 11 574

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 781

You deserved it 4 626

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 246

You deserved it 114 130

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 10 791

Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 892

You deserved it 1 567

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments