Miscellaneous: Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the...

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 10:29 - United States

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 099

You deserved it 2 720

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 06:12 - United States - Amelia

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 3 606

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 644

You deserved it 4 993

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 505

You deserved it 5 413

By nsb124 - 28/01/2015 08:07 - United States

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 810

You deserved it 2 828

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 4 445

By Nick Nameous - 01/01/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 236

You deserved it 5 316

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 44 969

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

Gun control

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 10:59

Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 329

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 5 234

daydreamstar 7

Friday 1 January 2010 16:25

now thats a pain in the ass...

Peroxide 3

Friday 1 January 2010 16:49

I like how you people bring in the new year. I personally like to celebrate the new year by chopping my arm off as a nice "**** you" to the universe.

Comments

pegasus77 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 5:13

Be specific, please.

SecretAznMan364 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 5:25

That person got shot like a deer or some other animal. Oh wait. Did you happen to paint a target on your butt???

FortuneFaded 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 6:38

I'm guessing it wasn't a 'real' gun, probably just an airsoft. Either way, bad luck, but I laughed.

harmony88 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 7:54

Because it's FML... there wouldn't be heroic stories about guns here.

azurablade 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 8:38

#24 lol, funny. 

cozcat 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 9:32

Huh. Reminds me of that episode of NCIS where Gibbs shoots the bad guy in the ass. Good times.

XxA7XKillerxX 1

Saturday 11 June 2011 11:49

XxA7XKillerxX 1

Saturday 11 June 2011 11:49

Sunkistlover718 21

Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:37

Anyone else automatically think of Forrest Gump? No? Just me? Alright... -_-

sgcaudell 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 19:44

I did. As soon as I read it I thought of "lieutenant dan, Ice cream!"

Sunkistlover718 21

Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:40

But then again, it was never actually specified whether or not the OP was wearing clothes at the time... xP

jyd62 0

Friday 5 February 2010 6:18

people on drugs shouldn't play with guns lesson learned

jaedukslifesucks 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 7:36

you should have shot him back in the face

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 4 977

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 515

You deserved it 3 482

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 3 390

Today, after thinking it over for 3 months and finally landing on the subject naturally, I was about to come out to my mom as bisexual when she said, "I have nothing against people who are gay, but people who are bisexual make me uncomfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 221

You deserved it 650

Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 133

Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 125

Same thing different taste

Gun control

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