Kids: Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her.... - FML

By Username - 13/09/2010 01:38 - France

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 31 410

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 045

You deserved it 4 841

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 204

You deserved it 18 847

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 515

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 91

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 893

You deserved it 30 899

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 442

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 3 055

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 462

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 6 675

Next

Top comments

Mclovin_95 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:03

haha what a little bitch xD

3ddie_the_head 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:04

Smart ass kid.

Comments

singer4life666 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:21

"Its already been brought."

eviiee_fml 3

Monday 13 September 2010 9:21

hahahaha how cute! I could just imagine it, what a little smartass :p

skalyan 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:22

She is brave!! Spanking won't help anymore.

munny_fml 7

Monday 13 September 2010 9:22

lol smart kid!

FrecklesXO 8

Monday 13 September 2010 9:22

Ha-ha. Well, since she misbehaved, spank her. Stick to your word or it'll only get worse.

mackmillydilly 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:27

Lol, I'm guessing she is threatened or punished this way often? Either that or you just threaten her and don't come through. OR she's just a smartass, haha Been there done that, lol.

Clumsyblonde22 12

Monday 13 September 2010 9:30

Amazing! Go little girl. Way to rebel young!

SuicidalxDream 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:32

sounds like me lol. but you shouldn't " Spank. (abuse)"! . this one is funny though :D

dejwilley 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:17

spanking is not abuse. beating is but spanking if done properly can be a very effective punishment. my son hit my daughter several times so I spanked him and while they still bicker he doesn't hit her because it 'hurts' him too. Besides, most of the time the spanking is more of a shock and a blow to the ego.

riack 2

Tuesday 14 September 2010 4:27

shouldn't my ass. what you call abuse is what I call discipline. kids these days do whatever they want because they aren't disciplined. ground them? take their privileges away? that does nothing. getting beat with a belt or a broom handle? that'll teach those kids to respect you.

SuicidalxDream 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 10:05

spanking=hitting=abuse. and every one I know that gets what I called abused are bad.. tyvm bye...

selenagomezlover 8

Thursday 29 November 2012 6:14

There is a reason there is a law against that!

cabbitt 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:32

I hope the OP brought it but have my doubts.

Zakuraa 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:33

LOL. I almost died of laughter, my imagination picked up on this pretty quickly. I recommend the good ole paddle spanking', that or a massive smack to either go with it or just alone.

Caramelli 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 21:06

OMG, you're sick.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 517

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, an annoying ex-coworker I have ignored for 15 years sent me an e-mail to "inform me of her new address." The e-mail actually enclosed a video of her touring the new house and garden like a realtor. I skipped to the end where she humblebrags about how "grateful" she is "to be blessed with this property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 118

Today, I fell asleep while watching the Ted Bundy documentary. I'm a woman, home alone, in Seattle. The nightmares were so scary, I may never want to sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 773

Today, I got home an hour late from to find that my roommate had left the fridge open for the entire 8 hours. The kicker is that I was an hour late because I was at the grocery store, not buying the things that were getting ruined because I thought we had some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 84

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 363

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 5 564

Today, my relatively new car locked down, with my keys inside of it, while it was still running. In a panic because it was getting dark and I was already low on fuel, I called a locksmith. He showed up and told me he needed to see some ID before unlocking the car. My ID was in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 105