Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't...

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 159

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Same thing different taste

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 4 210

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 108

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 323

You deserved it 2 673

By Michelle - 27/12/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 575

You deserved it 4 785

Imagery

By bunnyluver4545 - 11/01/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 584

You deserved it 36 718

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 273

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

Taste test

By Anonymous - 08/06/2020 23:04

Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 272

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 504

You deserved it 36 979

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 049

You deserved it 4 241

mofran 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:49

make some dinner with fish eggs and say "damn got my eggs in the food AGAIN"

shadow2903 11

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:47

Haha weird boyfriend...obviously doesn't know a ton about female anatomy...

Comments

cetlawizard 15

Friday 9 December 2011 5:35

It's "red wings".....lol.

p2theORTER 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 10:59

Ovulation is the complete opposite of a woman being on her period... You're just as dumb as OPs boyfriend. You both should take a sex Ed class together.

cetlawizard 15

Friday 9 December 2011 5:49

Sorry OP, my previous response was to someone who made the comment about making your bf eat "blood wings"... :(

PoRegret 0

Friday 9 December 2011 5:52

I don't know whether to laugh or weep for humanity

newlove_fml 0

Friday 9 December 2011 7:35

Oh goodness. The implications of OP's boyfriends statement...just wow. His perception of female ovulation sounds like it came straight out of a horror movie, or some really messed up nature documentary. The fact that he thinks girls have multiple eggs in their system at one time just makes it worse. I hope he's not planning on having children any time soon, the poor guy. He would be in for such a nasty surprise.

born_hustla 26

Friday 9 December 2011 9:29

I can't believe he made it that far in life...being so ignorant.

xMissxMurderx 1

Friday 9 December 2011 9:58

you need to dump this idiot.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 9 December 2011 14:24

how often has he had sex with a fish that he can make this comparison? Seriously, that's the lamest excuse for not wanting to get someone pregnant I've ever heard. Gotta write that one on my list of lameness.

Levvy 22

Friday 9 December 2011 15:47

Ever see that episode of The Simpsons where one of Marge's sisters (I forget which) goes out with Troy McClure? If you have, you'll get why I bring this up, and if you haven't, you'll just be understandably confused.