Miscellaneous: Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on...

By anonymous - 21/04/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 352

You deserved it 101 172

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Same thing different taste

By teach - 14/11/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 8 507

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 461

You deserved it 19 430

And I oop

By ellesworth - 01/09/2017 23:15

Today, while sharing my screen with our tech guy at work, I forgot he was there and opened Facetime to pick a zit on my chin. After going in for the squeeze, I horrifyingly remembered he could see everything and quickly closed it. After a few seconds, he said, "Did you get it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 2 889

By elite - 19/01/2012 21:59

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 483

You deserved it 4 357

By Chubby - 17/11/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 5 182

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 190

By WTTFFFF - 09/05/2014 17:24 - United States - Tecumseh

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 835

You deserved it 4 753

By elfy2 - 03/03/2011 02:49

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 155

You deserved it 3 430

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 612

By acneface - 21/10/2009 06:59 - United States

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 761

You deserved it 4 091

poolshark 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:17

I've had teachers that would have found that hilarious and I've had teachers that would have had you suspended asap... For your sake, I hope this guy had a sense of humor.

wastingtimeonFML 7

Thursday 2 August 2012 14:22

The ironic thing is that you're not that slim either, as evident from your picture.

Comments

rocketshipsxx 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 20:38

BEST. FML. EVER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

kgsaywha 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:17

hahaha i thought it was funny...**** the haters

owned2hell 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 3:49

#139 watch your language, be respectful. Yes this is the best FML I've read yet xD

madomis 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 4:18

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA... thats funny as all hell

sikryd 0

Friday 24 April 2009 11:38

OMG... thats bad but really funny

BrittNeyyLove 0

Friday 24 April 2009 23:54

hahahahaha hilarious :))

angelann313 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 5:03

hehehehehehehehehehehehe thats so great

CaptainJellyBean 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 15:56

I'm so sick of people doing FML's from the other person's POV. Nobody gives a crap. 99% of the time, they aren't funny. But yes, what a zinger, as #3 said.