Kids: Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how...

By BrandonDrapeau - 03/08/2015 02:57 - United States - Sparta

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

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You deserved it 3 598

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Same thing different taste

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 217

You deserved it 4 774

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 5 044

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 425

You deserved it 5 492

By ScoobieDoo - 20/03/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427 002

You deserved it 66 874

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 300

You deserved it 561

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 528

You deserved it 64 338

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 846

You deserved it 4 781

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 596

You deserved it 4 253

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 6 123

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 5 248

MegasaurusRex89 28

Monday 3 August 2015 9:36

That has to be THE most uncomfortable sentence one could say to a parent.

Miss_Mandi 29

Monday 3 August 2015 9:36

Did somebody beat you to a sex talk with your son, OP? ...Now that I think about it, it was probably the internet.

Comments

lebanesebarbie 15

Monday 3 August 2015 9:57

Hahah awesomeeee. What every parent wants to hear :| great image.

Lillyyy06 6

Monday 3 August 2015 10:00

Looks like your son is ahead...

igg125 30

Monday 3 August 2015 10:16

So he already knew about the birds and the bees

wow_very_doge 10

Monday 3 August 2015 10:40

Expect awkward moments every time you initiate sex-talk, OP.

GrinchFu1 27

Monday 3 August 2015 10:52

This is only weird if your son is like under 12 or over 18. All teenage boys say silly shit... And they ********** constantly, or was that just me?

crackajak 15

Tuesday 4 August 2015 8:06

Although not scientifically proven I believe there is a direct correlation between constant masturbating as a child and the ability to grow an impressive beard. You sir, are proof.

libbyson 5

Monday 16 September 2019 18:23

More masturbation = better beard or the other way around?

GrinchFu1 27

Thursday 6 August 2015 10:10

I definitely kept myself busy as a child...

crackajak 15

Thursday 6 August 2015 10:38

Hell yeah. Who didn't? I was dry heaving before I had a wet dream. On a non sexual note, your profile mentions that you're metal head. Any love for system of a down?