By RedLust - 14/11/2009 04:23 - Bolivia
I agree, your life sucks
38 137
You deserved it
6 065
RedLust_fml tells us more.
First of all I have already left (thanks for the support people), and second of course I discussed with her that that was wrong, and she thought otherwise so I had no other option to give the ultimatum. I f you want to be with me then why do you need your past? And women if you need more romance say something don’t look for it in other places, because if we men need more BJ (Just an example) or whatever you wouldn’t like us to be getting in other place right? Some things are important for some people and other things for others.
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toomanycats
0
Just had to post b/c I've never seen one from Bolivia. I was born in Achumani, lived in Chulumani for a few years. FYL. Find a real woman ;)
Ummm its HIS wife so its not snooping.. He has full rights to know whats shes doing! That's called being Married!
Cristaderzi- you sound like the type of crazy control freak that no one likes you but I can see your point of view I would be pissed if this was me and those of you taking the wifes side just stop she could have been messaging back and other things like that also how do we know he was snooping around if it was email she may have left it up accidentally. I agree with the others though don't throw around ultimatums unless you can follow through.
first off, YDI for trying to be a controlling bastard, secondly did you even ask her if she told him to stop sending them? sometimes people have more than one email address you know. Also ultimatums rarely end the way you want them to, don't be a dick.
You're delusional. In what way is it controlling to tell your current lover to stop talking to her old lover. They obviously shared an intimate relationship and that should never be brought into a new relationship, especially a marriage. He has every right to tell her to stop, and if it were me I would tell her to leave, not the other way around.
93- its very controlling, he should have talked with her about it calmly and rationally, not threatened her. We don't even know that she was talking to him, all it says is he was sending her messages. She easily could have been ignoring them or dealing with it her own way, and she didn't like being ordered and threatened. She also may have been calling his bluff, maybe he does this a lot and she knows he won't really leave so she goes along with it.
Reality_bites
14
Something tells me this is not the first time the husband has chucked a tandy (temper tantrum) and issued an ultimatum. Maybe she just thinks that her husband has no right to issue ultimatums like block the emails from her ex or he would leave. He is effectively telling her who she can and cant talk to and reinforcing that fact that he doesnt trust her. This is manipulating, controlling behaviour that will only get worse. Not a healthy thing in a relationship if one partner doubts the others ability to stay faithful to the point that ultimatums are being issued. If she does it, where do the ultimatums stop? And then there's the issue of whether the husband is in contact with any of HIS ex-girlfriends. If he is, then he has NO right to tell her that she cant keep in contact with hers. Maybe she welcomes the emails, maybe she doesnt but at the end of the day the husband should have some degree of trust. Whats the point in being in the marriage if they dont have that?
Exactly this.
vencku
13
She's getting -romantic- emails, though. She should have told her ex off. It's very hurtful if your partner clings to a previous lover. It's fine to stay friends, but there should be no romantic involvement unless you intend to make your current partner insecure and uncomfortable.
YDI for being a controlling psycho.
Maybe you might need to spice up your marriage and be more romantic and your wife will pick you...
TedFreakingBundy
0
what a *****. tell her to get back in the kitchen.
Viejo soy de Bolivia tambien! Nada que ver! Pense que era el unico Boliviano que conocia esta pagina. :P Sabes que, dejala a tu mujer porque eventualmente te va poner cuernos con su ex. Hay literalmente MILLONES de mujeres en todo el mundo, si la dejas, poder tirarte a varias hembritas y tener una nueva oportunidad en la vida. Suerte flaco. VIVA BOLIVIA.
Don't forget to take your belongings with you. YDI for marrying a cheating bitch.
If my husband told that I would have told him to leave, too. You are her husband, not her parent. You don't get to order her to do anything.
Neither does she have the right to force him to endure her continued "better-than-friends" relationship with her ex. I also suspect that you don't know the original arrangement(s) of this marriage any more than I do, which is to say that we don't. By the way, he didn't order her to do anything. He offered her an option - he goes or her ex goes. She made her choice, so he exercised his right to choose as well. It wasn't the nicest deal with marital problems, but what's done is done. They're probably both better off this way anyway. It's pretty obvious that neither was content with what the other was offering (if there's any truth to this story, that is).
he didn't really offer her much of an option, and by the sounds of it he asked in a way that WAS ordering. the other option -- him leaving -- is game over, end of marriage, worst thing he could do besides beat her. ultimatums suck and she didn't sound like she deserved it. the FML wasn't 'my cheating wife chose her ex over me', it was 'I somehow snoopily found out she was getting love letters and blamed her for her ex's actions, made it clear I didn't trust her, and yet she had the balls to stand up to me and NOT do what I told her!" perhaps I don't know the full story but that's what it sounds like to me. YDI 100%
vencku
13
The problem was that she -kept- receiving them. She should have told him off or blocked him if she was too cowardly to do that. If she wants to be friends with her ex, they need to keep some distance, and writing romantic emails isn't. It's very hurtful if your partner clings to their ex.
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Why would you want to be with a woman like that anyway? Screw her. Move on.
Why would she want to keep receiving the messages, though? That's why this is so wrong. Maybe OP shouldn't have put an ultimatum on his wife, but the fact that she'd rather keep getting romantic messages from her ex than be with her husband brands her as a major bitch that needs to be left.