Miscellaneous: Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork...

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 891

You deserved it 6 638

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Same thing different taste

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 915

You deserved it 6 020

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 894

You deserved it 14 215

By Tressa95 - 25/02/2018 18:30 - United States - Belleville

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 682

You deserved it 306

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 215

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 410

Ghost_Kaulitz 16

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:20

Your roommate is my spirit animal.

tzemmy 25

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:24

what if you really were bleeding though the ass and didn't see it through the ketchup?

Comments

quickit 24

Thursday 18 December 2014 1:09

1-0 for your roommate OP. You better.. ketchup ;D

Samuel5463 12

Thursday 18 December 2014 1:18

Let the prank wars begin

makaramiracles 18

Thursday 18 December 2014 1:34

Prank war.... begin! Also, that would scare the crap out of anybody. At least you're okay!

asl12 9

Thursday 18 December 2014 1:51

That's sexist

caleb_9756 14

Thursday 18 December 2014 2:13

That would've scared the bloody shit out of me.

annarcheer 19

Thursday 18 December 2014 2:18

ketchup has a pretty strong smell though.

ChristianH39 30

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:56

Probably not strong enough to smell it through the dump he just took.

annarcheer 19

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:45

that makes sense and at that moment your not thinking. thanks :)

nattlecakes 19

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:05

You gotta give it to your roommate though. Really good prank and in the end nobody got hurt.

cassi2525 5

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:20

I once had the same type of freak out...I forgot I ate a ton of beets.

NodakN8V 25

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:46

At least it wasn't Saran Wrap over the bowl...

CougeeSwagg 19

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:55

They did it wrong

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

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You deserved it 208

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You deserved it 78

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I agree, your life sucks 38 146

You deserved it 18 639

It's ok, they've got 9 lives.

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 88

Today, I went to a friend's wedding, only to realize I'd forgotten my dress shoes. I ended up wearing my pair of Converse Chuck Taylor's with my suit and stood out like a sore thumb in all the wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 686

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I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 151

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I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 156