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this isn't an FML...
OP next time while your half asleep just kick the cat against the wall, but first check that its not your two year old daughter before doing so.
Lol #19 xD
At least you didn't roll over on the cat. My sister used to do that every night by accident, but now the cat is too fat to notice. #10 and #86, murmer this incantation for some very good advice: Gofu C'kyo Urself Make sure you read it as one word.
You should shit on the cat as payback.
Sick poodie
Keywords
If you JUST adopted the kitten (same day, or so) that's not what you're supposed to do. Poor thing was probably freaked, and needs to be litter box trained.
Hang on, I'm not quite following this. You're asleep. You smell poo. You feel all around your bed, and DONT expect this to end badly? The kitten was testing you. You failed.