Love: Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative...

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 743

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 4 901

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 38 448

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 961

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

By Anonymous - 20/05/2018 01:30

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 086

You deserved it 567

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 684

You deserved it 4 726

Could go either way, tbh

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 321

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 33 655

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:40

.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?

hk_fml 9

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:39

Sexy!

Comments

chevycobaltSS07 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:59

haha. I feel sorry for her... she was nervous and I know she didn't mean it.. don't pick on her for it. lol. deff not a FYL. more like a FHL...

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:59

Well, you've exchanged significant amounts of bodily substances. Maybe she'll decide to stay on that path.

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:01

/Waiting on the Twilight ***** to "go there". They're all in bed right now, though.

2005KonaScrapp 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:03

Haha wat movie loser haha fyl

22jrdn55 15

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:03

lmao YDI for dating a clutz

plexico 3

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:13

Was she bringing up her hand to catch the sneeze or to fend off your quivering mouth with the questing tongue? In any case, you get partial credit for getting one of your "precious bodily fluids" in her cleavage.

PlasmaFox 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:14

43rd!

Nicoleismyname 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:15

Lol who said I'm throwing "palm strikes"? Where in my comment does it say " I think I'm tough because I throw palm strikes"? It was just a thought that you obviously proved wrong. You seem a tad bit high strung buddy why don't you go take a breather.