Health: Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was...

By feels like an asshole - 09/06/2015 20:03 - United States

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 334

You deserved it 3 211

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Same thing different taste

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 732

You deserved it 3 539

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 962

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 2 037

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 371

You deserved it 6 205

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 878

You deserved it 4 125

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 206

By RightInTheFace - 12/09/2015 16:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 1 904

Stage 1?

By Waterfalls - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 606

You deserved it 10 853

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

rnarshmallow 21

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:06

At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.

thecouchisalive 20

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:07

That's a very wet dream

Comments

doumtabarnack 12

Wednesday 10 June 2015 16:00

Dude it could have been way worse. You could have actually peed on your girlfriend.

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 10 June 2015 16:09

What if she liked that stuff?

Lord_Rythin 0

Wednesday 10 June 2015 16:20

I did that several years ago. That wasn't my dream, but you're not alone.

littleking94 14

Wednesday 10 June 2015 16:42

lmao. dog be like, da **** is going on

CliffyB03 28

Wednesday 10 June 2015 16:51

Well...not saying the dog enjoyed it, but at least it happened to the dog and not your girlfriend lol

rachelkoo 10

Wednesday 10 June 2015 17:02

I think this is more like " F your dog's L"?

CaptainBlack 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 17:19

alpha as ****

xKRIEG_SCHWEINx 11

Wednesday 10 June 2015 19:49

sounds like a kinky dream

NightKat 25

Wednesday 10 June 2015 20:09

I woke up with a jar of peanut butter and a bag of tortilla chips next to my bed. My friend later told me that I had called him and told me about all the things that I had said. Apparently sheep were living in my closet telling lies, the doorknob was an asshole and called me a bitch, the ceiling fan wouldn't stop laughing, and the floor was crawling with used Band-Aids..