Well thank you for your support, Pendatic. I used to be embarrassed about how we ended up together, because so many people looked down on online relationships but I've realized that it doesn't matter. I'm no longer offended by them, but still curious. I want to know why so many people hate online relationships. With so many people all in the same frame of mind, there must be a reason, right? I can understand why people don't want to do them, and that's fine. But hating other people for it doesn't make sense to me.... at least not yet.

I have an online relationship myself and also can't understand why people look down on me cuz of that. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and have never been happier. At the beginning I felt quite bad cuz ppl looked down on me for meeting my boyfriend online. Now I just don't care anymore what ppl think about it. Why should we care if they look down on us? Everyone saying YDI for having an online relationship is just a complete jerk.

I'm not so sure they're jerks. Maybe they're just completely uninformed and parroting what other people tell them. Or maybe they've had a bad experience and are bitter. Or maybe they have some other reason that I haven't yet thought of. Or maybe they are jerks.That's why I asked. Because I don't want to believe that there are that many jerks out there, so I'm looking for proof that they are not.

I'd prefer them not to be jerks. I'm sure some have their reasons or they really just don't know anything about it, but still doesn't that give them the right to look down on someone for having an online relationship when they know nothing about it. Luckily most people I know don't look down on me for having one. Most people actually think it's amazing how I can bear that, cuz I don't see my boyfriend very often. But honestly, ppl should think and maybe try to inform themselves before looking down on someone.

In a perfect world boatkicker, there would be nothing wrong with having an online relationship. However as Pendatic pointed out, it's riskier because people tend to lie online. Unfortunately, while the internet is a valuable tool, over the years it's become a magnet for sociopaths, con artists, douchebags and assholes to make other people's lives miserable. You lucked out in finding a good man, so don't be ashamed about how you met him. The rest of the world should be so lucky.

I meant it more as... If ou crossed an ocean to be with someone you've never met, and were surprised to find not everything they told you was true... YDI. I did say "sorta" though. I dated online twice. One pretended to die(too smart to fall for it) and about her age and stuff. Also dated two others at the same time. The other cheated, but that happens offline, too. Can't blame me for thinking that if you date online you're almost asking to be lied to, though

I have never had a romantic relationship online, but I have meant and maintained a few friendships online and think there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Meeting people online doesn't seem any worse than meeting them at a club, or hooking up with a strange at a party - you're taking some risks there, as well, and in those cases how much of it is really based on personality and conversation? At least online you have a chance to talk with someone and to get to know them, where as at clubs and parties this can sometimes be difficult. Yes, people can and do lie, but are some people so naive as to believe that the same thing doesn't happen real life, face to face? The difference is you can get away with more online, perhaps, but it's not as if liars, predators, and other creeps only inhabit the online world. I think the problem here is that some people are under the impression this girl didn't know anything about the boy before she flew over to be with him. It's easier to say "You deserve it because you met him online!" rather than, say, "You really should make a better attempt at getting to know a person, especially before you fly to somewhere you don't have any friends or family to support you and met a guy for the first time when he could be someone quite terrible, and then you would be alone with him in a foreign nation and without any help." because the second one takes quite a lot of caring about a stranger's safety, while the first one simply passes a quick judgment and also carries the message "she deserves this because she did something stupid; I would never end up in a relationship like this because I am better than that." which comforts people. I'm sure that, had she met him at a club and went back home with him only to have the same thing happen, people would say, "YDI for going home with a stranger, ****." or whatever else would make them feel that what happened to her was avoidable, and not something that could just as easily happen to them.

dudeitsdanny: People can and do lie just as much in person guildedmuse: You're right. I second what Pendatic said, it was a good, well thought out comment.

Generally people don't just pack up and spend that much money unless they're invited. It's not a short trip up the road, its expensive and time consuming. If he invited her, he ought to pay attention to her. It doesn't make her selfish.

Assuming he didn't lie to her and tell her he had the time off, though, I would think that if you go to visit your boyfriend while he's taking college classes, you would know ahead of time that some of your vacation is going to be spent with him doing school work. I go up a couple of times a year to see a friend in New York, and never have I expected him to drop his classwork to spend time with me. I'm also more than willing to help him with any assignments he might have so long as I hadn't already scheduled to do something in that time. But, I mean, otherwise I know that school comes first. He knows the same when he visits me. We'll gladly ask for a week off work to spend time with one another, but for most higher level college courses, you only get so many absences before you fall behind and are screwed.

My point was that he should have invited her during a week when he didn't have classes. He still probably would have had some work, but less than if classes were actually going on.

Calling someone else stupid while saying "your" instead of "you're" really doesn't make a great impression. I usually don't turn grammar nazi but if you plan on insulting people, at least try to come as though you have basic language skills.

Sometimes people who live far away fall for each other. It happens. Not that I think dating someone who lives across an ocean is a good idea, but it's not like it's unheard of. People on here are so judgmental. People are going to fall for whoever they fall for, even if circumstances aren't ideal.