Intimacy: Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on...

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 994

You deserved it 9 413

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Same thing different taste

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 574

You deserved it 16 446

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 365

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 467

You deserved it 6 768

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 13:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 6 676

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 721

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 392

You deserved it 8 832

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:22

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:23

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

Comments

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 2:04

Your life isn't ******, your boyfriend is. Find another

O_HALEZ_NAW 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 2:12

Maybe you people are a bit young. Men are people too, and people aren't love machines. They can't just **** whenever.

O_HALEZ_NAW 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 2:19

Her shoving a giant vibrator probably won't make him think "OMG, I AFTER SEEING THIS I NOW REALIZE I GOTTA HAVE SEX WITH HER". Chances are, he'll just be thinking "WTF".

O_HALEZ_NAW 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 2:25

WTF is wrong with your logic and reasoning? Just because the OP initiated sex it's her fault? Have you never been sexually active before?

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 29 August 2009 2:30

thats so true!! if he does wanna have sex then he doesnt have to!

R3TROxLOV3 32

Saturday 29 August 2009 5:55

Oh wow what an ass. I would just dump him right there. He's an idiot. Most guys would jump at the chance, but apparently not him. I'd find another guy asap :P

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 29 August 2009 9:00

maybe shes ugly or sick or something thats why he doesnt wanna have sex with her

InjectYourGod 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 7:49

You should have let him put it in your ass. Unless that's loose, too.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 29 August 2009 8:17

Sounds like somebody just wanked off in the bathroom, or, as was mentioned, someone has a kinky soup can fetish. Oh, and foxkl, depending on the app, the numbers get messed up. FML Pro & the free version of it both screw up the numbers. Try checking with FML Reader when you get confused about the order of comments. Visiting the actual site may help you understand comments vs. replies, etc. I found FML through the app & I was confused for a bit too.