Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind...

By only1bigdogme - 03/09/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 53 238

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Same thing different taste

By boo! - 17/02/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 534

You deserved it 42 993

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

By BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 51 112

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 335

You deserved it 5 169

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 794

You deserved it 81 435

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 584

You deserved it 5 227

How d'you like them apples?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 14:00

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 209

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 779

You deserved it 7 055

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 2 410

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 33 655

DirtyPicture_fml 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 15:57

Dumbass -__-

orphinz 3

Saturday 3 September 2011 15:59

On the bright side... It worked?

Comments

TheDrummingResul 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 18:23

So you're a dumbass then..

paige99100 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:34

It worked tho ! But that was dumb

thiscrazything 1

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:50

YDI. Betcha don't try that again. A friend did that to me once, and they got a maglight across the face.

d33emar 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 21:27

Sure...

viciouspanda 0

Monday 5 September 2011 1:07

Haha well done.

Scooter42 15

Monday 5 September 2011 5:57

Sounds like she needs to learn some self control. Real self defence and most martial arts that aren't right by sadists teach you to stop when you are no longer in danger. Any one of those injuries should have been enough. Legally you can charge her with assault, but that would ruin the friendship. I recommend she tend to all three wounds herself.

abouttofly 12

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:27

A broken nose or rib isn't necessarily going to stop an attacker. Plus she probably caused all the injuries in a short amount of time, while she was still frightened. I have no idea if her actions could be legally considered assault, but I hope you understand that it's problematic to prosecute women for fighting back. When someone jumps you, you don't have time to think about how to do enough damage so he is incapacitated, but not too much so you won't face legal trouble. I believe it's better to err on the side of letting women defend themselves.