Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took...

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 5 231

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Same thing different taste

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 012

You deserved it 3 506

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 260

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 693

You deserved it 39 006

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 019

CyclonePsycho 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:37

At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D

lukewarmocha 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:33

naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.

Comments

MinaXmassacre 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:18

Ouchhh.

ryanr21 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:18

So you've got a manly scar? You should be proud.

jollyholly414 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:27

I guess she thought she was a vampire, so you'd go away in pain if she bit you. oh well, at least you have a cool scar, now!

jkramer1212 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:32

scars are cool, and you'll have a story to tell

plexico 3

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:37

She owes you. Please tell us what she does for you.

Beven 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:39

that's a ****** awesome battle scar you got there and also give you reason to drop that bitch.

jewelzgalore 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:45

It's your survival mark.

UGADawg08 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:55

At-least she didn't have AIDS.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:10

Really stop throwing around AIDS.

nanoflacka 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:59

Should have let the bitch drive then die lol

JRSpaniel 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:06

At least it'll make an interesting story to tell your friends/family.

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

The Top

Today, I was listening to music on my Bluetooth wireless headphones, when I put them around my neck to do something. Later, I put them back on to continue listening to my music. Even later on, I was looking for them and couldn't find them. I thought I had lost them, but then realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 762

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 121

You deserved it 1 529

Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 821

You deserved it 5 265

Today, my fiancé asked his 13-year-old sister what role she wanted in our upcoming wedding. Her response was "Saying I object!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 282

You deserved it 438

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 722

You deserved it 874

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 513

You deserved it 17 453

Same thing different taste

Romantic move

Time to run

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