Holidays: Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast...

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 413

You deserved it 1 033

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Same thing different taste

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

By anonymous - 31/01/2013 04:02 - Canada - Fergus

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 28 883

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 927

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 296

You deserved it 7 527

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 919

You deserved it 2 172

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 076

You deserved it 12 727

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 435

You deserved it 4 059

By TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 832

You deserved it 53 159

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 14:26 - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 929

You deserved it 1 266

siggy_mcsigx 22

Sunday 27 November 2016 11:31

This could have happened to anyone who used the bathroom vent. It isn't your fault their house has faulty wiring.

Wizardo 33

Sunday 27 November 2016 11:22

All the pimps in the crib drop it like its hot.

Comments

Iswear 4

Sunday 27 November 2016 16:17

Actuallly you literally didn't. The poop didn't set the fire so it's figurative

NuttyProfessor 7

Sunday 27 November 2016 19:29

You know this means that you are likely to marry him and the "Poop on Thanksgiving: How Mom set off a fire with the fan story" will become a classic entry into the family historical archives, living on in infamy. It will be told and retold, embellished, exaggerated, and never ever forgotten. It will be the thing you will be reminded of on the Holidays FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS ON EARTH.

RabbitOfAurora 28

Sunday 27 November 2016 20:53

If it wasn't you it would have been the next person by the sounds of it. Unless his family don't poop?

Bam6849 7

Sunday 27 November 2016 22:01

Your shit was literally fire

jessicasoho 13

Sunday 27 November 2016 22:24

You dropping heat had nothing to do with the fire. Ha. First, the fire was caused by the vent and as for number two... Ha. The wild card was the vent, but some deuces are wild... Omg I could keep going but I'll cut this short! lol

Juls464 10

Monday 28 November 2016 4:42

You must have ate Wendys

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 28 November 2016 22:29

Taco Bell

cootiequeen4444 11

Monday 28 November 2016 5:16

fast food? on the way to Thanksgiving? Is your bf's family a bunch of vegans or something. I mean... even then... Thanksgiving is 80% sides and many are easily made vegan and still tasty.. Thanksgiving dinners tend to be really early too... like my family typically eats between 7 and 8 p.m, but Thanksgiving dinner starts at like 4 pm. So skipping lunch isn't typically a huge deal. In any case, I just understand the need for fast food on this particular day... Seems almost like blasphemy. you need to save room to engorge on as much turkey day foods as possible and then pass put on the couch afterwards.