Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen,...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 4 005

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Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 406

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 594

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 120

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 138

You deserved it 559

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 915

You deserved it 7 073

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 394

By Eminnis - 31/08/2015 03:27 - United States - Woodland Park

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 326

You deserved it 1 698

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 14:33 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 579

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 3 342

Kitchen Nightmare

By Pinsky - 30/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 165

Joswah 0

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

Gross. Just gross.

robbilee 14

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

a new ingredient to a recipe. yum

Comments

zackd23 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:05

i like b%bs

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 19:36

You stop saying that.

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 20:00

Hey, that worked.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 0:29

Combo breaker?! I know this had been silent for a while, but I couldn't take the chance.

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:12

They'd already stopped saying that.

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:29

Which means that worked.

zp5 4

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:39

everyone stopped replying

zp5 4

Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:03

which means it worked

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 22:05

Stop trying to mend the broken combo!

SAMHAlN 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:06

isn't it nob if you're not talking about a door knob?

WiseGuy79 14

Monday 20 September 2010 19:08

I'm betting you skipped dinner that night lol

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Monday 20 September 2010 19:08

anyone in the mood for steak with a side of masturbation?

RachelHellYeah 0

Monday 20 September 2010 23:21

that wasn't funny

stronghand0331 17

Monday 20 September 2010 23:49

yes it was

sammehsaurus 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:57

It really wasn't. Haha

c420racer 13

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

Guess you don't need to add salt to your food lol

christian50 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:09

haha great response!

GrEaT_BaMbInO 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

(just wait and see what I do to your dinner.) lol

ngyh 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

I was trying to picture the whole thing..... but, nah.... rather not!

7basher7 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:20

disgusting

perdix 29

Monday 20 September 2010 19:20

So when your bangers and mash tastes funny, you'll know why.

shaannonwilding 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:22

ha! this made my day :)

honestlyWTF 1

Monday 20 September 2010 19:21

I'm pretty intimidated, but I have my hot dog to keep me happy.

FFML_314 11

Monday 20 September 2010 19:27

DUDE ME TOO! We are like soulmates!

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 19:37

I'm telling Precious.

ohthebloodygore 16

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:39

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 032

The Top

Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 616

You deserved it 5 317

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 1 056

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 5 070

Today, my boyfriend told me he hoped I don’t get pregnant because he’d hate to have to dump me to escape fatherhood. Thinking he was making an insensitive joke about my single pregnant sister, I asked how many women he dumped for falling pregnant. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Four." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 233

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 492

You deserved it 16 789

Today, after my dad hurt his shoulder, it turns out nothing is broken but we don't know anything else. He might have a rotator cuff tear, which will require surgery, and he's already been out of work for a week after he got rehired from being laid off. He's starting to lean on me financially and I get SSI only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 101

Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

Eye bleach

Knock first

Quick thinking

Kitchen Nightmare

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