Intimacy: Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying...

By neednewdeoderant - 14/12/2011 02:39 - United States

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 627

You deserved it 3 548

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Same thing different taste

By screwed. - 03/02/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 45 620

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 5 123

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 480

You deserved it 80 861

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 28 784

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 186

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 199

You deserved it 44 960

Strange Diet

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 18:00

Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 206

By Oops - 27/08/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 863

You deserved it 37 068

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 4 863

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 128

MerkathonPro 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:44

When I first read this, I saw "If she wasn't applying it to"... Is it wrong if I thought crotch first?

gunmania0 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:38

There are two ways you can get herpes... just don't let her give you a Blowie...

Comments

miksoko 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 4:38

You realize there's oral herpes, right? It's called a cold sore

fangbanger_kitty 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:01

Was your toilet bowl steaming or what?

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:21

keep your ding-a-ling away from her!!!

xii_clueless 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:29

Look on the brightside, if she does give you a *******, at least your dick will smell better. It just wont look or feel better.

PedoPancakes 7

Monday 30 January 2012 4:42

Haha that is soo the bright side :P

1kiki81 6

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:42

Oh dayum

chryses 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:02

Oh wow really bad, reply worthy lol

AshleyHartwell 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:49

Dude that's blows...

Tritium_fml 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 10:48

Maybe she doesn't have herpes. Could be just dumb.

pike1346 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:28

RRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN AWAY FAST. Unless it is a fever blister.

Missporsha 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 18:59

Lol get tested please! ?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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The Top

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You deserved it 133

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I agree, your life sucks 20 272

You deserved it 1 956

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I agree, your life sucks 15 666

You deserved it 63 211

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 207

Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 1 570