I would have beat the shit out of them.

That's why I invested in slingshots and bb guns.

See! Could have been worse. They did not piss on your door handles. Or shit on your porch. I would have replied "and at least I did not kick you in the face" - then promptly kicked one of the vandal bastards in the nuts.

I would've grabbed at least one of those lil ***** and called the cops. At least they could pay for your newly needed paint job since they are poorly raised, destructive adolescents. Maybe they'll learn not to **** up other peoples things.

That shit is worthy of a suplex!

FYL. FYL even more if they would've pissed on your door handles too. If they or anybody was keying my car then I'd kick and punch them around for a few mins and then key their faces. Even if they were under 18 (I'm 18) I'd still beat the shit out of them, curve stomp their asses, drop kick them and do some major scratch damage to their ugly faces with my keys (that is if it was a guy doing it. If it was a girl I'd just call the cops). They'd regret doing it, and maybe even regret being born

Them little bastards would of been on there way to Juvenal hall if it was my car and the parents would of been paying for a new paint job

I work in a car repair shop and I can tell you if there light scratches they could buff it out still would cost about 600 to buff all the scratches out if you can't buff them out it would cost a few thousand

And then is when you beat them.

They would have been on their way to hospital if they had done that to my car.