Miscellaneous: Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing...

By jess - 15/02/2012 17:47 - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 2 399

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ThanksMom - 08/07/2016 07:54 - United States - State College

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 565

You deserved it 1 322

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 2 118

By jaded_woman - 27/12/2009 06:58 - Australia

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 4 246

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 863

You deserved it 4 377

Alanis Morissette reference

By mei-ah - 12/06/2021 00:01

Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 97

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 396

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 2 945

Road rage

By howannoying - 16/02/2013 06:24 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 316

You deserved it 3 906

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 158

You deserved it 2 765

By cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r - 04/06/2012 20:34 - United States - Geneva

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 887

You deserved it 4 494

4Legend 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 22:23

Well I'd come out to watch too, I mean who do those worms think they are!? The nerve...

incognito1520 20

Wednesday 15 February 2012 22:25

Am I the only one who pictured the mom in a robe and curlers while smoking? It makes her seem even crazier if you do.

Comments

elmousey 5

Thursday 16 February 2012 10:08

What did the worms say?

wriptidez 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 11:34

wow she needs help

arthurlikestrain 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 11:45

Reasonable worms?

simgar98 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 12:21

just like my mom, fml

ragingdepression 4

Thursday 16 February 2012 15:57

invisible option H

Nthabz 8

Thursday 16 February 2012 16:52

Sounds like your mom needs help. WTF?

jgam013727_fml 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 17:54

I'm surprised she didn't have her 40 in one hand and her gun in the other. Crazy!

HunterAlpha1 8

Friday 17 February 2012 3:58

sounds like your mom has one(or more) of the following problems: 1. drugs 2. alcohol 3. dementia either way, you should gets professional help.

Kamiel_fml 0

Friday 17 February 2012 5:16

Ugh blondes...

ren23 4

Monday 20 February 2012 1:38

i would slowly walk back into the house while saying i don't know her

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 569

You deserved it 8 228

Today, my husband cheated on me 8 hours into our marriage with one of the barmaids serving drinks at the party. He claimed he was drunk and thought she was me. Kind of hard to claim that when I clearly heard him moaning her name right before I caught them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 89

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 6 053

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 611

You deserved it 4 438

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 848

You deserved it 3 387

Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 87