By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 03:21 - United States

Spicy
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 114
You deserved it 13 841

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sheesh - poor guy was under so much pressure, what with trying to replicate every cliched movie ever made 'n all, no wonder he choked!

Rose petals? Somebody's read a few too many romance novels. At least you didn't have a Twilight fantasy.... **** that shit.

Comments

bigcrazymike 6

There's a lot of pressure to perform well the first time you're with a woman. I know I'm always nervous the first time. I feel like I gotta knock it out of the park. You set the bar pretty high thinking it had to be perfect. I can only imagine how pressured he must have felt in the situation you described. And to write this an an FML you don't seem like the most forgiving woman either. FHL, I feel bad for your bf.

Because the first time you go bowling you bowl a perfect game right? YDI

The hopeless romantic in me understands why you had the CD and petals, but honestly even I know the first time usually isn't all that great and I'm still a virgin. Maybe you should have had a less intense environment to make him more comfortable. I'm pretty sure that if he was a virgin as well you only made him feel pressured to live up to this fantasy you created. I hope the next time you take the advice people have given you on here and just let things happen as they happen.

dunyone1 0

hahaha sucks for you i swear the people on this site fail so hard at life

insertclevername_fml 0

Aw, don't worry too much about it. he was probably nervous. next time it will be great. love and good relationships aren't about having things perfect, it's about the imperfections disappearing when you're with them. if you're in love everything will be fine.

dhkb1337 0

Honey im 17 and the first time sucked so bad. Me and my gf had tea before we did it for the first time. it was such a mood ruiner when we both had to pee the whole time.... sorry for sharing but just to illustrate how friggen bad the first time is most of the time

faveat_fortuna 0

first times always suck. my first time i was drunk, and after hours of drinking he decides to finally STOP playing world of warcraft (were talking about a 22 year old marine here) and come to bed with me....10 minutes later, he's done and then decides to get up and continue playing WoW, but not before he tells me to go sleep on the couch. so believe me, first times suck.